THREE RING 'SURF'ACE

"....and you'll have to deal with pressure"

2010-01-11T06:04:00.000-05:00

All grown up and no place to go
Psych 1, Psych 2
What do you know?
All your life is Channel 13
Sesame Street
What does it mean?
Pressure
Pressure
Don't ask for help
You're all alone
Pressure
You'll have to answer
To your own
Pressure

This past week as you are well aware from my post last week, I have been troubled by back pain. Double that with an incredible amount of work with a deadline thrown in for good measure and you have my life over the past 3 days in a nutshell.

This Tuesday night I am leaving to go out of state for the rest of the week. I have a massive amount of work, and a looming deadline. It is during these times when we all find out exactly what we are all made of. I lost my composure yesterday, went on a tirade & ranted. Walked away from my desk for a few minutes, came back and made the following line my status update on facebook:

"tell me I can't and I'll take everything I have inside me to prove to you that I can."

All my life I have practiced the art of being one who never quits, I have been a fighter. Sometimes I lose sight of that fact and it takes me a while to get back to who I am. I am happy to say I am back to who I truly am and I have no doubt, although I will have to work some long hours and go on little sleep over the next two days, I will make my deadline. So if you don't see me around, or don't see me chatting it up as usual, it's because I refuse to quit and I need to meet the deadline.

.....and well, I hate to admit it but sometimes I get a rush of adrenalin from knowing there's some pressure and I just might achieve the impossible.

Shot Of This Or A Shot Of That?

2010-01-07T04:48:00.000-05:00

Photograph courtesy of SAMBASIXTYTWO'S BLOG

I am having issues with my back, so today I'm either going to need a bottle of these shots to get me some relief.

Or......

Photograph courtesy of Nursing Times

I will need to go in search of this kind of shot. Although the photo at the top of this post would be a hell of a lot more fun I'm sure, I'll probably fold and opt for this shot. Which ever shot I end up with I hope I get even a little relief. Which shot would you choose?

I'll Take A Million Of These

2010-01-06T06:24:00.000-05:00

You can view all of my photographs here.

On Monday evening I said to a friend of mine "My day went very well, I'll take a million of these." Guess what? I continued on a roll because yesterday went just a nicely as Monday did. Thank you universe! I'm on a roll and trying to string together 3 in row in continuation to that million. I'll keep you posted.

Work In Progress: Life's Lessons

2010-01-05T06:32:00.002-05:00

If you know me you know two very important things about me:
1. I am currently dealing with a family member who is sick.
2. I am a Personal Kanban champion.
Why am I telling you these two things? That brings me to this post. I finished the end of 2009 in a foggy funk. Seriously down and depressed. After Christmas I decided I needed to do some cleaning both internally in my head and externally in my favorite place in the house, my haven, my home office. Since I am telling you interesting facts about me that you might not know, here's another, I crave order. I know I have closet CDO, see I even have to have OCD rearranged into alphabetical order. I need order, I need everything in it's place. I am not joking when I tell you that EVERYTHING in my cabinets are lined up perfectly and all labels facing front. I can't stand or won't tolerate any kind of messiness in my home. My home is my sanctuary and I need perfection here. That being said, you can just imagine how I felt every time I walked into my office and was greeted by THIS:

You can view all my photos here.

That is just one part of my desk. It kills me to even look at it today. My office had become a reflection of my life. A complete dumping ground, a complete mess. Just like my emotional state I had closed the door on my office and refused to deal with it. Hey I didn't have to resume work in my home office again until after Jan 1. One more reason not to deal with it.
I had slid through the holiday in a complete funk. I was participating in holiday activities but was just a shell of myself. Then a week after Christmas had passed I walked by my office, looked at that desk and decided enough was enough. I was going to expand my office space. I was going to buy new bookshelves, ones that would give me enough room for all my work materials. I was going to re-organize what had become a huge mess, lost in the shuffle of what had become my life.
What happened next completely changed me in more ways than one.
While cleaning out all the bookshelves purging items that were no longer relevant to my work I stumbled upon a treasure of memories. That's right memories. Photographs of a time gone by, pictures & artwork drawn by my daughter many, many years ago, a few scattered cards from friends and my husband from way back when we were first married. What did these items do to me other than bring back a flood of fantastic memories? These items reminded me of what was important in my life, they reminded me of lessons learned, lessons shared, lessons still to be learned.
My office was a mess, my life had become a mess, but taking that day and finding those memories, helped me to find myself again. I can't control what goes on around me in my life all the time however, I can control how I deal with what goes on.
After renovating my office, enlarging the space, reorganizing everything from top to bottom, I felt a renewed spirit. It wasn't just about my office, it was about me. Those memories helped me find myself again. I realized that I can't lose sight of that ever again. I can't fall into the downward spiral of funk that I was in EVER again. But, how do I do that? How do I prevent that? Can I even pretend to try to do that? Absolutely. I went to my go-to application for organization-Personal Kanban. As you know I have blogged before about the benefits I have gained from applying Personal Kanban to my life, if you have missed them you can read them here and here. I am a self proclaimed Personal Kanban Champion. Simply put, it has changed my life both personally and professionally. I thought about those life lessons and how I wanted to work on them, and practice them diligently this year. I wondered how I could make that my main mission this year, then it dawned on me. Make it my WIP (Work In Progess) this year. I created a WIP- Personal Kanban board for myself with Life's Lessons that I needed to practice this year. I wanted to be reminded daily of these life's lessons that I considered to be important to me this year. I created the board, took a photograph of it and set it as my laptop wallpaper.

Click to enlarge. You can also view all my photos here.

That way everyday when I turn on my laptop the first thing I see are the life lessons I need to apply to myself this year. Immediately upon applying this to my laptop my whole mood changed. I was immediately transformed. I had begun to feel for the first time in months, optimistic, uplifted, excited for what the future will bring. I might not always like what my life dishes out to me but now I have another tool to help me deal with what it gives me. One thing I know, I will always be a Work In Progress, and I like that!

Afraid

2010-01-02T20:20:00.006-05:00

I am afraid of what the future holds.
I am afraid that I am misunderstood more than understood.
I am afraid of the new year.
I am afraid that I am not strong enough.
I am afraid that I am making the wrong decisions and won't realize it until it's too late.
I am afraid I'll have regrets.
I am afraid I'll let you down.
I am afraid that I can't be all I need to be.
I am afraid to talk to God.
I am afraid to let go of the memories of what once was, or should I even let them go?
I am afraid of seeing someone I love very sick.
I am afraid of crying because once it starts I might not be able to stop.
I am afraid of holding on too tight.
I am afraid that things will never be the same again.
I am afraid of leaving one family to be with another.
I am afraid that while juggling I will drop a few of the balls, and that scares me.
I am afraid of not being the person I used to be.
I am afraid that I have walked so far away from my religion that I will never be able to get back.
I am afraid of having to rely on friends.
I am afraid of missing the little things, meaningless to others but meaningful to a Mom.

"I just want one more weekend...."

2009-12-14T18:25:00.004-05:00

"I know and I don't want to call because I just want one more weekend of being a healthy person."

That was the quote my Dad said to me when I spoke to him on Friday. The results of his pathology report were supposed to be ready by last Tuesday. He didn't want to call the doctor. My whole family were all waiting. I called him Friday while on the way out of town to try to get him to call, to no avail and just said "Okay Dad but you know, I think it's going to be pretty positive news."

My Dad called today for his results. It was the opposite, it was not good news. He knew all along. He told me so several times over the past 2 weeks. I refused to believe him. I feel terrible for trying to push him into getting the results he didn't want to hear. My head is so jammed with thoughts, I don't even know how to process all of this. Why didn't I prepare myself for this? Who was I kidding? I just hope I don't stay this lost for too long, God give me the strength.

Jesus Walks
Partial lyrics by Kanye West

God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long

It's On Baby!!

2009-12-10T17:28:00.003-05:00

This weekend we will travel to Annapolis for mini to swim in the annual North Baltimore Christmas Meet at the US Naval Academy. Guess who is on the psych sheets and scheduled to swim in the meet this weekend?

To Panic or Not To Panic?

2009-12-08T22:36:00.002-05:00

So as many of you are aware I was away all last week. When I left, every piece of laundry was done, including each and every towel. Every dish and piece of silverware was washed and put away. Every room was cleaned and vacuumed. Every i was dotted and every T was crossed. I think you get the point. I even had snapped a photo I liked of mini and had it put into a card I liked online and ordered it and picked the cards up an hour later before I left so I could take them with me and address them and mail them while away. Yes, I was organized and I was prepared for the trip.

You know what they say about the best laid plans right? That's right. None of it mattered. Nothing went as planned last week. I never even got my cards out of my bag. After a few unplanned set backs last week, my Dad started to get better so I came home on Saturday night. I have to give props to my husband and my daughter, the house was almost spotless, and the laundry was even done!

GASP!

GASP!

They really did a lot around the house while I was gone and for that I was very grateful. I needed to come home and be with my family and let a ton of emotions out and just relax and decompress. That is exactly what I did. Hell, I don't even remember one minute of Sunday afternoon, I'm pretty sure I slept that afternoon away on the couch. It was really what I needed and it felt great.

Enter Monday morning. I woke up sat on the couch and realized it was December. The month that the big holiday falls in.

Christmas.

Christmas.

OH.MY.GOD.

Then panic set in. Christmas and I have only bought one gift!!!! I haven't addressed my cards or mailed them yet!! I haven't shopped for one baking ingredient yet!! I haven't put together my day after Christmas party menu yet!! OH.MY.GOD. As I was putting together my grocery list for later that morning, a thousand thoughts were running through my head. I need to do this....I need to do that....I need to run here.....I need to run there.....Oh and yeah I almost forgot, we are away at a swim meet out of state for THREE DAYS this weekend, AND I am going back out of state when I return to help out my parents again. HHHHHHHHHHELP!!!!!

Late on Monday night I decided, I can't do everything and I have to just let things go. Priorities come first and that's family. I just need to do what I can do and so be it. Tuesday was a new day and I was okay with my decision to let some things go. I was checking my lists, crossing items off I decided were not that important.

Then came Tuesday night when I arrived home from the pool and took a look at that list again. How can I let things go for Christmas? Christmas is made of tradition. I can't let our traditions go. I just can't do it.

Panic.

Panic.

Panic.

Guess what? It's back. Panic. I'm in full on panic mode once again, I have made lists on top of lists. I need to get it all done. I can't let any tradition go. I am in a race for the finish line. There is no quitting, no dropping out of this race. I need to finish and finish on time. So say a prayer for NO bad weather, because I can't even let snow or ice stop me.

I'm off.....wish me luck!!

2009-12-05T02:05:00.002-05:00

So here I am again here on the only place I know to go when I have much to say and no other outlet in which to say it, my blog. I feel like a stranger in my own house. Funny how life takes over and takes you away from some things you love but no longer find time for. This blog is one of those things.

I sat here for an hour composing my thoughts into what turned into a rambling piece of writing that was all over the place. When I stopped writing and read it I wasn't happy with it. It didn't say what I wanted it to say. I'm sure this post will make sense to no one and that is fine with me, tonight I just needed a release and my blog gave it to me.

I love my Mom and Dad more than words can express.

My Personal Kanban Evolution

2009-10-13T00:00:00.000-04:00

I don't usually do this type of post on my blog but I have been toying with the idea of bringing it here for long while.

Then I decided that everyone can benefit from some organization in his or her life, right?

Ever since reading about Personal Kanban a few months back I have been hooked.
Well okay some would say I have been obsessed. I don't know why, but maybe I just saw it at the right time in my life but ever since reading about it my life has changed for the better. As I said on Twitter a few weeks back, I have even been known to Kanban my dinner menu.

Before Kanban, I was all over the place. Always trying to do 25 things at once and never quite completing any of tasks on my to do list. I read the first post in the series and decided this looks like something I could do that would help me out, so I decided to give it a shot. I started trying Personal Kanban solely for work purposes, it then spilled over into every aspect of my life.

So today I present to you my Personal Kanban Evolution.

Kanban is great because you don't need anything fancy to get going with it. My first Kanban was on poster board w/ Post-it notes in my office.

I even added arrows so I got off track with my tasks, I knew right where to pick up again. After working w/ this first primitive Kanban board and seeing how successful it was right out of the gate, I knew this was for me.

I then started to Kanban even when I didn't have room on my poster board.

Right on top of my desk I started to clear out items that needed to be done right away and I got tired of looking at on my board. Guess what? It worked.

And it worked really well. I was becoming decidedly more productive.

So much so I thought, hey I wonder if this Kanban will work in other parts of my life? I then started a Personal Kanban board for my 12-year-old daughter's confirmation project that she was dragging her feet on.

Guess what? That Kanban board is now completed, and she was done with everything way ahead of schedule. She is now implementing Personal Kanban for her school work. Especially when she has a big project due. Now that she's on the school newspaper she's mentioned Personal Kanban will come in handy to get her articles in by the deadline.

A chip off the old block huh?

So if it works for me and works for a 12-year-old, I also began to think that maybe it would work for my husband and I as we prepare to get our house ready to put on the market this upcoming February, so we made this Kanban for our "home jobs".

So when my husband and I began to talk about what we had to get done to meet that deadline, we were both daunted by the list before us. We both said to each other, "There is no way we are going to get all this done by February." After just one weekend of working on the tasks, here is the progress we made:

I am happy to say we have even more tasks moved over to the working and completed swim lanes since this photograph was taken. Even my husband is impressed by our productivity so far.

As I started out saying in the beginning of this post, I started Personal Kanban for work purposes. I can't believe how it has improved my productivity. Now I am using both a white board and the agilezen website for work. I can't sing the praises of agilezen enough.

I love the fact that I can collaborate on work projects. It's a been a fantastic tool and has taken my productivity to even a higher level. Not only am also using the agilezen site for work but I also use it for my blog. It's a great place to put my ideas and see them come to life and over to the completed swim lane.

For my personal tasks, I have been using another website LeanKit: Kanban. It seems to be working out very nicely in that capacity for me. Before I start my workday, or any day for that matter, I look at this page on my computer.

Now you can see what I mean when I say there is no part of my life, both personally and professionally, that I haven't used Personal Kanban successfully.

Well there was one part of my life where I hadn't used Personal Kanban.....that is until the start of the new school year, enter Kanban in the classroom.

While I was preparing this summer for my up coming school year, I wanted to do something to help my students with their end of the year testing results. I needed something that would boost their learning while making it fun and achievable, then it dawned on me....why not use Personal Kanban in the classroom? Here's the first try at the classroom board:

After a lot of conversations and tweaking of the board I ended up starting the year with this hanging on my wall:

Which led to the first completed classroom Personal Kanban board:

Which then turned not only to a Personal Kanban board on my classroom wall but a individual Personal Kanban for each student at the end of the week so that they could share their achievement with their parents.

There has been nothing like watching the students add to the classroom Kanban board when they complete their tasks and earn that "awesome" sticker when they have completed all the tasks for the week. They are now looking forward to placing their post it note on the board with each task.

So far we have had 100% success, even though it's very early on, I am quite confident this will help out with the success rate at the end of the year testing, therefore ensuring each child is even more prepared to enter into kindergarten.

I am pretty sure this is probably the most primitive version of Personal Kanban that you can get, I don't use or know all the technical terms, and these are not the most complicated of boards that you will see. In fact, these are probably some of the most simplistic boards you will find.

However, this is what has worked for me. This simplest of tools, has taken me to a whole new level both professionally, and in my private life. To me there is nothing like the feeling of moving that WIP task over to the completed swim lane, and looking back on a day's work and seeing just how much I have accomplished with this tool called Personal Kanban.

Yes it's true, I have been known to Kanban my dinner menu.

King of Pain

2009-10-02T03:13:00.002-04:00

For the first time in my life I spent almost the whole day crying. I cried all the way home from my parents home yesterday. 2 1/2 hours worth of tears streaming down my face nonstop. I was on the couch all night last night crying. My world has been turned upside down, literally. I am trying to put a plan of attack in motion for dealing with everything that has been throw at me. I feel a like I am juggler who is trying to keep 10 balls in the air all at once.

Now that I know for sure that my Dad does indeed have cancer and what the next few months hold in store for him, treatment wise, I need to make some decisions. His treatment will be lengthy and very involved. My parents live in a different state from where I do. My Mom will not be able to handle all of this on her own. I will need to be there as much as possible for my Dad and my Mom. This is where the 10 balls come into play. How do I keep my own family here going? Juggle my 2+ jobs, my daughter's swimming schedule, and my home? Something is going to have to give.

I'm not 100% sure yet but I believe I'm going to have to quit a job. It will be very hard to walk away from the job I am choosing to let go of particularly in the middle of the year. However, I have made a vow with myself a long time ago that where my family is concerned I want to have no regrets. I want to make sure I am there for my family no matter what. I only have one family, jobs will come and go. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
I consider myself very lucky that I can afford to let a job go, that I have a husband who is there encourage me and to support my decisions.
My daughter is almost 13 now. She and my husband will be able to handle things here at home while I am gone during the week. I know it will take some creative scheduling to make sure that either my husband or myself is here to continue getting her to practice daily, but we will do it one way or another. We have made that commitment.

I am scared for what the future holds. I am scared that I might make a wrong decision. I am scared that I will not be strong enough to handle all of this. I am scared that I will let my family down. I am scared.period. However, I think my Dad is scared more than I am and I need to make sure that he knows he is not alone and that we get through all of this together.

One thing I realize is that I have an absolutely incredible network of friends. While yesterday was one of the toughest days of my life, I simply cannot thank my friends enough. The phone calls, text messages, emails, thoughts and prayers from all you did not go unnoticed. I am very blessed and so thankful for all of your support, love and friendship. I can only hope that I am half the friend to all of you that you have all been to me.

WW ~ #27

2009-09-30T04:32:00.003-04:00

Photograph courtesy of Hitting 50

I am avoiding reality.
As long as I can do it I will continue to do so.

I have no answers

2009-09-24T05:25:00.002-04:00

Please note: This blog post is purely venting. If you do not wish to read my venting I suggest you read no further. I am NOT writing this for pity. If you know me you know that pity is not what I am about. I am writing this purely for my own venting. While I don't usually use this platform for my venting, I need to let some things go and this is after all my blog, and the one place I can play by my rules.

After my Dad was cleared of his cancer almost 2 weeks ago, I received the news that his colonoscopy revealed yesterday that he has a tumor. The doctor who did the colonoscopy is almost positive it's cancer. So much so that they have set up many tests over the next three days in preparation for his initial visit to the oncologist next Thursday.

I can't quite put my finger on it but this has hit me so much harder than the previous bout he just came through with flying colors. I have many questions, much anger, and no answers and no sight in end for my anger.

I am furious. I am devastated. I am upset. I am lost. I feel broken and I don't know how to fix myself. Why would all our prayers be answered only to have them taken away so quickly?
What is left of my faith is on thin ice. Let me provide some religious background: I am a practicing Catholic. I have for the most part attended church every Sunday since I was born. I consider myself to be a good faith abiding Catholic. I even taught CCD at my church for almost 10 years. We have been very conscious of not missing a Sunday Mass over the past year because of my daughter getting confirmed later this fall. For the first time in my life I'm extremely tempted to drop her off at Mass on Sunday and either go home or wait there in the car. I have no clue how I am going to walk through those doors of my church on Sunday. As some of you might already know I have had recently some issues with my church to begin with and this is just the icing on the cake for me. As I told one of my friends in an email earlier this morning, I have yet to say a prayer. I'm afraid to.

I am no different than any one of you. We all have our responsibilities, we all have our problems to deal with, and we all have challenges that have to tackle. I am a person who realizes that no matter how bad things are for myself that there are others who have it far worse than myself.
One of my favorite quotes is "God never gives you more than he knows you can handle." I have lived my life believing that. My Mom would say that all the time when I was growing up. I really believed that. Until yesterday. I just feel like no matter where I turn, in which direction, there is a brick wall and the bricks keep getting higher and I have no way to get out.

I helped my Dad and my family get through this the first time and I am committed to doing it again this time, I just have no clue how. I honestly don't know how I can be strong enough to do this all again. Seeing my Dad go through this before and NOT being there to see him and check on him every day was very difficult. He was depressed and was not so willing to fight. I had to fight with him to get him to do what the doctors wanted. I had to fight with him to get him to go to Sloan-Kettering, everything was a fight. A second time for him? Why a second time?

I believe every thing that happens has a lesson tied to it. I have no clue what the lesson is in this. I have no clue what it is I'm supposed to learn from this. I have no clue how to deal with all of this. I'm just clueless.

Been a long time

2009-09-22T05:19:00.005-04:00

It's been a long time since I have posted here or anywhere. I have had a tough time adjusting to balancing being a Mom, wife, and two plus jobs. My down time has gone...well....down. I fully intended to blog this weekend but when I had time to sit down and relax, I did just that. Sat down and relaxed and couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess that means I just wasn't ready to put down on my blog what was going on and how I was feeling.

I have glided into the new school year, this will be my last year in the classroom. There have been many changes on my horizon and I have decided, however hard the decision was to walk away. I love being in the classroom, I love my kids. However I have a child who entered Junior High this year and is inching closer to her college education which we need to step up our saving for. I have decided to go 100% next summer into my marketing job. I have gone into the this school year full of new ideas. I have set up a classroom twitter account for my parents to follow. I wasn't sure how this was going to go over, but it has been embraced by the parents and very well received. All but one of my parents have signed up for twitter just for the classroom follow. They have been interacting with me through the account and have loved the live tweeting with the photos, they can see their child in action and see what we are doing in the classroom. It has been very exciting to watch unfold. I believe it is the way of the future in the classroom. Last year I used email and I just wasn't happy with how it flowed. Twitter seems to be working out nicely so far.

I love the marketing job, it is so many responsibilities in one job. There are so many pros to this job that they far out weigh the cons. I love being able to work in my pj's if I so desire. I love waking up putting my tasks in order and then receiving an email or phone call that switches it all up and gives me new tasks to tackle. That equals never a dull moment with the work. I love the commute, down about 20 steps to my home office. I love my boss. I love being on the ground floor of a start up company. I love the flexibility. I love the design aspect of the job. I love working on the computer. I love that one week I could work 40 hours and the next only 10. In the end it all balances out with the hours. I love that if I have something to tend to during the day, I can start work at 7pm at night. Honestly there really isn't anything I don't like about the job. THAT fact alone to me is amazing. I know I'm very lucky to be able to say that. I have had many jobs that I have HATED.

As many of my readers know my Father was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer a few months ago. Two weeks ago the doctor from Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center called to tell me that the original diagnoses was wrong. His cancer was in fact benign.

*pause*

*pause*

Excuse me could you repeat that?

Benign?

WOW.JUST.WOW.

We were floored. We were ecstatic. If you think prayers don't work, you are wrong. Miracles do happen. I can't begin to tell you how happy WE all were with that news. I am so glad we went to Sloan-Kettering. Not only because of what they found, but because from the very first phone call I placed to them, they were top notch, went above and beyond what I expected any Cancer Center should have done for their patients. From the first receptionist I talked to on the phone to the greeter at the front desk, to the nurses, to the doctor we met with. EVERYONE there was first rate, top notch, the best of the best. I cannot say enough good things about our experience there. They truly are the BEST Cancer Center. I say this not because of our outcome but because of how we were treated. I had to deal with a lot of doctors, and their offices, while helping my Dad out with this and many of them were not so quick to help. Dealing with all the doctors can be a bit intimidating especially when you are trying to coordinate everything from out of state.

Today is the first day of Autumn. Can you believe that? It has been cool here for the past week. I have watched the trees starting to turn. This is the first autumn with the BIG DADDY. For those of you who don't know Big Daddy is my Nikon D40. I fully intend to capture autumn 100% with Big Daddy this year. I'm very excited about it. I have scouted out a few choice places to get some (hopefully) great shots of the beautiful fall colors. You are welcome to follow along here. The following are a few shots I have taken so far, but I promise the BEST is yet to come it's very early in color season here. I hope you enjoy them!

You can view the rest of my photographs here.

Let me just add how great it feels to blog again and how happy I am to post here. I missed all of you and this so much. It makes me feel like I'm on the right path again if for nothing else, my sanity! Ha ha!

WW ~ #26

2009-09-02T04:20:00.002-04:00

LIVES RURAL WANTS TO BE URBAN

You can view the rest of my photographs here.
I have this tag line on many of my homepages online. I love the city, just about any city with tall buildings, and tons of people, Philly, NYC it doesn't matter take your choice. It makes me feel alive to be in the city. The above is ONE of the MANY reasons I long to be urban. I spent a good part of Sunday weeding around our house. We have a ton of landscaping in our yard and while it looks beautiful, it is A LOT of work, on almost a daily basis. Give me the city, a condo/townhouse or apartment with NO yard, I'll go the park instead and be very happy. THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

New Feature? You Decide #3

2009-09-01T00:00:00.001-04:00

I have been a bit behind but if you have been following you know I am back in full swing now and bringing you today a new edition of You Decide!

You can view all my photographs HERE.

When you look at the photograph above what do you immediately think of? Drop your answers in the comments. The correct ones will be acknowledged right here next week.

Here's last weeks photograph.

Miss Attitude said: "Kind of weird though because it looks like it's inside a bathroom..."

tinyshrimp said: "looks like a public restroom pic"

perpstu said: "It looks like a TV on the ceiling of a bathroom stall."

David O'Donnell said: "Fanciest loo ever—"

Congratulations all four of you were correct!
The above is a shot I took while in the bathroom (I just had to) at ESPNZone in Baltimore Md. While I am not a fan of public restrooms, this one I had to go into because my daughter was in it and came back to our table and said "Mom you just HAVE to go into that bathroom before you leave, you won't believe what they above each stall!"

Would have been here sooner but......

2009-08-30T21:01:00.006-04:00

I would have been here sooner but the other day when I had time to post on this blog the "new post" page would not open for me. I guess that was fate telling me I needed to be doing other things. So I'm finally back and ready to play catch up.
As I told you last week I have started up a new blog: A Journey Through Cancer. I am hoping that in some small way it will make a difference. I have a lot of ideas for this blog and I hope that it will help anyone who is dealing in anyway with cancer.

You can view the rest of my photos here.

Yesterday was the most beautiful day of the summer here. I took time to do some of the things that give me the most enjoyment. I grabbed my camera and took so photographs. Something that I had not done a while. It felt good to get behind that lens and shoot away.

Taken with the iPhone 3G

I also took some time to do some relaxing on the back patio. There was a light breeze the temp was in the low 70's, it was perfect to just sit and relax with a good book, one of my favorite beverages, and some music in my ears.

Monday brings on a new week and my first steps back in the classroom for the new school year, two weeks of classroom prep and then we are off in a brand new school year. While I am very excited to have new students, I am also not quite ready to let go of my summer. However, as they say....all good things must come to an end.

Where have you been?

2009-08-27T10:01:00.003-04:00

You can view all my photos here

Where have I been? Obviously not here. I have been preoccupied with many other tasks over the past week or so. As some of you already know, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer a few months back. While I'm not going to bring all the details here I will just state that there have been many ups and downs over the past few months to go along with the diagnoses.

Which leads me to where I have been.

With the diagnoses came a flood of emotions. I had no clue what to do with all those emotions. I wanted to do something but what? I decided to take those emotions and try to make a difference.

I have spent the better part of last week and this week putting together a new blog. This blog is all about cancer. It's about my journey with my father through this disease. I have big plans for the blog. Not only to chronicle my journey with my Dad but to also provide information about cancer, hope for those who are both suffering with the disease and those who are helping others through the disease.

I want to make a difference. If only one person receives help from my new blog, then indeed I have made a difference. While I may not have the means to donate a million dollars to the research of finding a cure for cancer, maybe I can supply the means for someone to cope with the disease. Maybe I can provide some sort of information for someone that somehow they have not seen before or that they have overlooked elsewhere.

After the new blog goes online tomorrow (Friday morning) I will be able to get back here to do some of my regular blogging duties again. I look forward to coming back and entertaining you again. I have missed posting here.

In tomorrow's post I will provide a link to the new blog for anyone who is interested to take a look. I would like to take a minute to thank my friends who over the past week have come to my rescue by helping me set up the new blog. I truly am blessed with a lot of awesome friends for which I am very grateful. Thank you!

Where is the 12 step program?

2009-08-18T22:44:00.008-04:00

You can view all my photos here.

See the date on the above photo? April 18, 2009. The day before I bought that phone. A Verizon LG Voyager. It was a big step up for me from my LG ENV. Touch screen goodness. I loved that phone it was awesome. I had that phone for just a little over 2 months. Why only 2 months? What? 2 months? Did the phone break? What happened?

Here's what happened^^^^^^^up there, this is what happened. I purchased the iPhone. I broke down. I couldn't handle the pressure of so many of my friends having it and telling me DAILY how much they loved it. I had the iTouch so I knew about the apps, hell the iTouch does everything the iPhone does except make the calls right? So why did I have to get the iPhone? Because I'm addicted to all things that are gadgets. I've had this phone for over 2 months and I still can't put it down. I find myself picking it up just to hold it. YIKES! Now that is crazy!

THAT however isn't the worse of it. Not only am I addicted to the phone, I'm addicted to the accessories that go with it. Check out the slick mophie juice pack air. External battery pack FTW!! But that isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I'm addicted to the app store. I kid you not when I tell you I am in that store daily. I am addicted to all things apps. I had 11 pages of apps within 4 days of owning the phone. I am constantly tweaking, adding and dropping apps that don't work for me.

Now I have taken the addiction a level higher. I have now discovered on the last visit to my local Barnes & Noble, that they have iPhone magazines! Now between reading everything I can online, following developers of the apps on twitter, and grabbing the best apps the day they become available in the app store, I have magazines to read!!

I seriously need a 12 step program. Is there an app for that?

New Feature? You Decide #2

2009-08-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Apparently you have spoken and you like the new feature I rolled out last week. Thank you for all the great guesses. Your response to that post was so great that I have decided it will be a weekly feature here on every Monday.

This was taken with the iPhone 3G. View all my photographs here.

When you look at the photograph what do you immediately think of? Drop your answers in the comments. The correct ones will be acknowledged right here next Monday.

Here is last weeks photograph.

Rob Miracle said "My first thought was kids at play."

Devyl Gyrl said "My immediate thought was 'pool time' followed by (b/c this might not have been pool time or even near the pool) PLAYTIME!"

Congratulations you were both correct!
This photograph was taken at a playground. That is recycled material that looks like mulch. Most of the children who were there kicked off their shoes before hitting the playground goodies.

Are you ready because I am!

2009-08-14T06:27:00.002-04:00

See the rest of my EAGLES Photos
Originally uploaded by swimmor31

It's no secret.

That is if you know anything about me at all you know that I have a deep rooted love for all things football.

I grew up in a family that planned their Sunday's around the football schedule. I spent every Sunday on the couch while my Dad sat in the recliner and we watched football from the pre pregame shows until the last play at night. I love my football, ALL football.

Fast forward to now. I married a man who shares my love of sports and his favorite sport is also football. We will watch ANY football game, we love high school, college and NFL. Our weekend starts on Friday night with the High School game. On Saturday we plan our whole day around what time Penn State is playing. If we are not going to see Penn State at Happy Valley, we will either have friends over or go to their house to settle in and enjoy the game.
Sundays, forget about it. Don't ask me to do anything on Sunday! We are home the whole day parked in front of the TV with our EAGLES attire on ready to watch.

My perfect Sunday would be snow outside, electric blanket wrapped around me, laying on the couch all day while watching the games. Now there is the perfect day!

Add in that mix the fantasy league I'm in and you couldn't ask for anything more!! The fantasy league I joined last year was the first one I ever was a part of. I can't begin to tell you how much fun that added to my football season. I had so much fun with everyone in that league. It was an fantastic experience. I will be back this year for more antics and fun! I can't wait.

......and for those of you readers who are in the Fantasy League, yes I'll be bringing the chair, rest assured!

There's no place like home

2009-08-13T00:00:00.002-04:00

Words can't express how happy I was to walk through my garage door late yesterday afternoon. When I tell you there were tears of joy in my eyes I am not kidding. Upon arriving home I took care of all domestic things such as dinner, unpacking, opening mail, and straightening up the house. Then when the sun started to set I went to the fridge grabbed a beer off the top shelf, went outside on the back patio sat down in the deck chair for a few minutes, closed my eyes and began to unload. I cried my eyes out. I have had so many emotions going on the past few days and because of other circumstances I needed to keep it all in check. It was all I could do to hold myself together over the past few weeks, running on adrenalin is a huge understatement.

I have absolutely nothing to focus on other than what is now at hand for me.

So now I need to be the rock. I need to be the foundation. I need to take care of things I have no clue how to take care of. I have to be a lot of things for a lot of people and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle it all. I just hope that I don't fail the people who are depending on me the most. I will try my best and hope that is enough.

Help me out, where do you gather your inner most strength from?

WW ~ #25

2009-08-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

Photograph courtesy of The Sun & Anchor

With this fine day we will complete the last swim meet of the season. When I arrive home late tonight the relaxation will officially begin, I can't wait.

The End.

2009-08-10T23:59:00.003-04:00

See all my photographs here.

Did anyone happen to see my summer because I surely didn't and I don't know where the hell it went.
Next Monday I have my first meeting of the school year. I am sooooooo not ready for that.
It's true I worked this summer for the first time in years but I also had my fair share of days off. The time just flew by and now depression has set in knowing that the summer is coming to an end and the full time work load will be in effect.
It is so sad that we have an in-ground pool and I haven't set one foot in it all summer.
YET.
YET I say because hopefully this weekend I will get a day to just sit and read out by the pool and perhaps take an hour or two to float around on a raft. After that I plan on having dinner made on the grill and then ending the night around a campfire on our patio with some close friends. Sounds like a nice way to wrap up the summer. Lets hope the weather holds out.

New Feature? You Decide!

2009-08-09T18:14:00.002-04:00

I'm exhausted and don't have a ton of time before hitting the road again tonight. So I wanted to do something a little different for today. I took several photographs over the past few weeks of different subject matter and I am curious to see what your interpretation of them are, this might become a weekly event on my blog. So let me know if you would like to see it again here or not. Be honest I can take the truth!

When you look at this photograph what do you immediately think of? Drop your answer in the comments.

They are only numbers

2009-08-07T21:14:00.003-04:00

38 / 7 / 321 / 274 / 595 / 3156 / 10 / 12 / 6 / 9 / 4/ 3/

These are only numbers, they have absolutely no meaning to you. I know this. What they mean to me is perspective.

You sometimes need perspective to understand the full picture. I can say these numbers to you and you can say, wow that's great but unless you know the full picture you won't fully understand.

I wasn't going to do another post about swimming. It was a promise to myself. EVEN I am sick of hearing about swimming. I thought I would breathe some new life into my lifeless blog and talk about ANYTHING other than swimming.

Tonight I needed to take a step back and reel myself in. I needed to know the whole picture before saying what I did. In my mind I did know the whole picture but I lost perspective. I needed to save my child emotionally from a huge breakdown. So frustrated I sat down in my chair, trying to look occupied I grabbed the meet program, opened it up and began to read the front pages. It was there I gained perspective. I realized what I needed to help my child before she was so thick in it she wouldn't be able to recover.

Numbers. All I needed to do was to be reminded of the numbers and the BIG picture. Here's an explanation:

38 Teams from 7 States

321 Females 274 Males 595 Total

3156 Total individual entries in the meet

Mini was seeded 10th in the 200 Back

Mini was seeded 12th in the 100 Back

Mini finished 6th in the 200 Back

Mini finished 9th in the 100 Back

That's an improvement of 4 places in the 200 back

That's an improvement of 3 places in the 100 back

Here's the problem, the times were not where they should have been. When you are swimming it isn't only about the position of the finish. It's about the time on the clock. Even if she would have finished first she would not have been happy, she needed that time on the clock. When you are not hitting your potential it wears on your confidence. In order to try to regain confidence I went to the numbers to try to show the big picture. When you look at the numbers in the whole big picture you understand just what it all means.

Did I save her? I don't know. I won't know until she hits the water again tomorrow.

Thank you for staying with us, we hope you enjoyed your stay!

2009-08-07T00:00:00.001-04:00

Being that I am traveling this week and most of next week I thought I would do a little post here on what I hate about hotels. Don't get me wrong I love being away, not having to cook or clean or make the beds but there are a few things that I don't like about being in a hotel.

In case you don't know I have a bit of self diagnosed OCD. I like order and CLEAN. When you first enter the room it's clean and orderly but I'm a little worried about germs, particularly in the bathroom area. Antibacterial wipes are in full effect when I first enter that room.

Why do they always have the chairs in a position where you can't sit there and watch TV? I always have to rearrange everything just so I don't have to sit on the bed to see the TV.

Does anyone ever unpack and put their clothes in the dressers provided? I don't, EVER. So why not take the dresser out and leave me some more room to put all my stuff?

Don't give me a window if it doesn't have a decent view.period. A beautiful view of the parking garage is NOT a BEAUTIFUL view at all.

Why put air conditioning in and then set it at 77 or 78 degrees and give each room a thermostat? Seriously do you think the incoming guest isn't going to turn it down?

The number ONE thing that I don't like about hotels is that when I wake up in the middle of the night there is no other room for me to go to. When I am home and I can't sleep I get up and move to another room I can't do that in the hotel unless I just go sit in the bathroom, and that ain't happening. That is hands down the most aggravating part of being in a hotel for me.

Go ahead lay it on me? Anything that bothers you about being in a hotel? Or am I the only one who has these issues?

What I Am

2009-08-06T00:00:00.001-04:00

I am loyal.

I am sometimes a person who trusts people more than I should.

I am sometimes scared.

I am honest.

I am one who worries a lot about things I don't have any control over.

I am willing.

I am always changing.

I am trying to do my best.

I am sometimes missing what is right in front of me.

I am hard working.

I am sometimes let down.

I am optimistic.

I am frustrated more than I think I should be.

I am hopeful.

I am forgiving.

I am afraid of failing those who count on me.

I am constantly questioning myself.

I am not always able to let things go.

I am one who does need to be pushed.

I am willing to lend a helping hand.

I am genuinely concerned.

I am not always able to see what others easily see.

I am constantly feeling guilty over my parenting ability.

I am one who loves my friends like they are my family.

I am human.

Semi WW ~ # 25

2009-08-04T23:36:00.003-04:00

Photo courtesy of Sabatino's Italian Restaurant

We are leaving today for Baltimore and I can't wait to have a nice relaxing dinner when we arrive in town at Sabatino's Italian Restaurant. This restaurant came highly recommended to me by my bestie MissAttitude. We have been talking about it all week and I can't wait to try everything on their menu!
Well maybe not everything but I do plan on eating my share of pasta and shrimp!

TMI Tuesday

2009-08-04T00:00:00.000-04:00

I just ran out of time to sit and write something for you today. Virtually no sleep and a Monday that almost NOTHING worked in my favor brought me to TMI Tuesday.
Drum roll please.......

1. Three words that best describe you are almost always happy, loyal, and organized.

2. Three words that best describe your life are busy, busy, and busy.

3. Your three guilty pleasures are shrimp, chocolate and ice cream. Yeah, I know they are all food related.

4. Three things you would like to do before you die are bungee jump, go back to Paris, and live at the beach.

5. If you were making Chris Milks video "Last Day Dream" which 3 to 5 flashes would be your life so far? flashes 4, 9, 14, 15 and 22.

Make sure you watch that video more than once, it's really quite genius.

Today....well it's over

2009-08-02T21:27:00.003-04:00

Today was as random as a day gets. If you thought my post yesterday was random you ain't seen nothing yet.

Today I took the mini shopping for school clothes. Let me correct that. STREET CLOTHES. That's right she is no longer going to be in private school so we had to go shopping for regular clothing. No uniforms. I miss the kilts. Hey, they are easy. You know the size you know the price you can even order online, you don't even have to go out of the house. Street clothing, a whole other story.

First surprise of the day, the sneaker store (that's code for The Foot Locker). She was a size 9 not anymore she has officially surpassed her mom and now wears a size 10! *gasp* Once I picked myself up off the floor I went to pay for the sneakers and had to be helped up again from the floor when the cashier told me the price. *gasp*

Next up shorts. "Mom I want shorts for the first month of school." Okay so off we went in search of shorts. So we first stopped a store which I won't mention here but it begins with an A and is very popular with the tweens, and teens these days. She picked out 3 pair, very nice and what I deemed appropriate for school. She tried them on they looked fine, off I went to pay. This time WHILE waiting in line I looked at the price. Again I fell over but this time before I had to pay. $45.00!! Hello.....$45.00 for shorts!! Am I in the minority here? Does that seem high to anyone else? Hell no. I told her to forget it. That is just crazy. That's when I was told "Mom you should expect that!" Again....hell no. We left that store, went over to a few more stores and found nothing. Finally on the bottom floor of the mall in a store she likes we found one pair of shorts for a little less but not much, and a pair of carpi's and one pair of dress pants. After paying for those three items off we went for a few other things and then after a few more shops I raised the white flag, called SOS and gave up. My wallet more than empty, my patience gone with all the money, I was done. I was exhausted. Though I loathe the mall I never thought that school clothes shopping would drain the life out of me like it did. I'm glad that is done for the time being.

So after coming home and making burgers on the grill for dinner, I settled in on the couch for some relaxation. MrRecliner left the room and left the remote way over there on the table next to the chair. Yes......waaaaaaaaaaay over there. So I was left with the television on and the channel was Palladia HD. A show called Story Tellers was on and it was The Dixie Chicks. If you have any clue about me you know I don't do country music whatsoever. NONE. NADDA. ZILCH. ZERO. GOLDEN GOOSE EGG. I don't like country music. I just never have. Since I was relaxing and unable to move off the couch I sat and I listened to the hour long, yes I said hour long, concert. Sit down. Yes I said sit down please. I liked them. I liked the concert. I liked the songs they sang. I liked the explanations they gave on their songs and why they sung them. I can't believe I sat through the whole hour let along liked them but I do. My favorite song by them was the last one they sang. The lyrics were fantastic. I have felt this way many times before. For some reason it just stuck with me.

After my concert on Palladia HD I began to think about the upcoming week and realized that I only have to drive to 4 that's right FOUR 4 FOUR 4 more swimming practices!! Yippeee!! Did you see that? That was me dancing around the family room. For over 11 months I have been driving sometimes up to 6 times a week down the the swimming club which btw is over a 1/2 hour from my house, ONE WAY. It gets old quick. In the summer the pool is at a different venue 45 minutes one way from my home. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Starting August 14th we are on swimming vacation for just under 3 weeks then it starts all over again. Those 3 weeks are like pure gold in our household.

Speaking of those 3 weeks of pure gold they will also be a time of big transition in our home. Mini will be going to Junior High. She is very excited, she can't wait. She has been spending time all summer long with her long lost friends from preschool, these are also the friends she has been separated from because of attending a private school. She talks about the new school every day and is beyond excited and can hardly wait. I'm actually excited for her, it's such a great time in her life.

Rolling right along with those 3 weeks, I am planning on taking some time off from all things social during that 3 weeks of pure gold to spend the time with my family. I need to re-energize, to regroup, to get myself together and prepared for the next chapter in my families book. I will be around just not nearly as much as I am currently and more than likely in a different capacity.

So there you have it, how was that for randomness today? Did I disappoint? I certainly hope not!

From My Head Right To This Post

2009-08-01T21:21:00.002-04:00

Wanna know? Here's some thoughts going through my head today.

I currently have 4 books going that I am reading atm. I have 4 magazines that I am reading. I can't seem to finish any of them. I could never understand how people read in bed. I have tried over and over again and I can never seem to get comfortable enough to lay there and read. Or should you be sitting up and reading? I never quite got that reading in bed down to a science.

It bothers me to no end when people don't follow the dress code. I am irritated every time I watch MLB. The correct uniform is pants just below the knees with high socks and stirrups. I understand that stirrups have for the most part gone by the wayside but honestly what is up with those long pants?? I think they look terrible and that MLB should get their act together and make those players were the proper uniform, after all it is a game of tradition right?

I love to cook. I love to cook for my family. I love to watch cooking shows. I think I would love cooking even more if I had all those little bowls filled with spices like the chefs do on their shows. I was always envious of that. The best part of cooking for me is the prep. I love to chop and cut things up. I love to work the chef knife. There is nothing more relaxing to me than spending the day in my kitchen cooking for those whom I love.

I have had trouble sleeping again lately. It's a pattern and I'm used to it. I don't fight it anymore I just kinda roll with it. While I have been spending most hours that people are sleeping up I have been watching a lot of TV which I normally don't do when I can't sleep. I am pretty much addicted to HGTV. I have fallen in love with almost every show they have on that channel. From House Hunters to Property Virgins, I love looking at houses across the country and the world. In my next life I think I might like to be a Realtor.

While we are talking TV. I have to say that I just can't make it through a Sunday or the week for that matter without tuning in Sunday morning at 9:30am for CBS Sunday Morning. To me that show is hands down the BEST show on all of TV. My favorite part? The last 5 minutes. Why? Tune in today and you will see, tell me if you do not agree.

This week we leave on a whirlwind swimming tour. We leave Wednesday and return late Sunday night for one day then turn around and leave Tuesday the following week again. We are all very excited this is the last of the season. It has been a long 11 months without a break. We are all tired but so excited that mini has finally reached a level where she was able to extend her season for these last two meets. This fall she ages up to the next age level and it will be very tough to make any elite meets, so we are enjoying riding the wave while we can.

I have been trying to pay some kindness forward lately. I have been trying everyday to do a little something to brighten someones day without them necessarily knowing who did it, which btw is my favorite way to roll. I figure if I can do at least one thing everyday and then that person does one thing then it will end up having the domino effect. One can dream right? My dream is that it will become a reality for everyone.

I hope you have a very enjoyable, relaxing, Sunday!

One is the loneliest number so I'm tackling threes!

2009-07-31T12:11:00.004-04:00

Photo courtesy of Lil' Fingers

I was tagged by one of my favorite Plurker friends Atropos, over on his blog the Ministry of Cats to do this wonderful Me(nage) en triox. Never one to pass up a good tagging I was happy to oblige. Away we go!

Three names that I go by:
Mom
Mother
topsurf

Three jobs that I have had in my life:
Produce Manager
Teacher
Art Auction Chairperson

Three places I have lived:
Baltimore Maryland
Manassas Virginia
Silver Spring Maryland

Three favorite drinks:
Iced tea
Gin & tonic
Beer

Three TV shows that I watch:
Big Bang Theory
CBS Sunday Morning
30 Rock

Three places I have been:
London England
Paris France
Orlando Florida

Three people that email me or fb message me regularly:
My mom
My best friend
My Boss

Three of my favorite restaurants:
Sapore
Patsy's in NYC
The 110

Three friends I hope will respond:
I have no expectations.

Three things I'm looking forward to:
Next week's trip to Baltimore
The following week's trip to Penn State
A quiet weekend where there is absolutely nothing to do on my family's schedule.

I went home......

2009-07-30T19:07:00.002-04:00

Photo courtesy of Southern House Plans

I am stuck in a rut. I am in a funk that I can't seem to shake for some reason. I have stared at this blank blog page for the last 4 nights and I have started what has seemed like 400 posts. For some reason I can't get the words to flow together.

So I wandered off last night and decided to take a trip home.

The home I went to was not a "real" or "tangible" home. It was not a house. The home I went to was in my head. I closed my eyes and took my trip back. I relived so many memories saw so many faces that have long gone by. Wondering...... I sat wondering for what seemed like hours, what had happened to them all. I wanted to go back. I wanted to be little again. I wanted to be carefree, to let go. I wanted so badly to be 9 again.

I walked up in my mind and sat on the front porch. There was a nice slow summer afternoon rain. My eyes still closed I began to cry.

I could see everything in my mind as if it was right in front on me and I could reach out and touch it. I ran through the house chasing my brother and sisters, screaming and yelling having so much fun. I wanted to be there again. I want to be there again.
When I finally opened my eyes and stopped crying I sat on the couch for a long time, alone, in the dark, in the peace and quiet of the night.

I have no clue why I went back. I don't know what I was looking for. I don't know why I felt so badly that I needed to go there. I'm glad I did. I'm glad I know that I still have those fond memories, that I can pull them out whenever I want, to go back, feel the security of my carefree youth again.

Maybe it's just that I am emotionally tired of all the adult grown-up crap that I have to deal with everyday. I don't know.

They say you can't go home again.....they are wrong. I can. I really can.

....and we're back!

2009-07-20T06:34:00.003-04:00

We had a simply incredible weekend of swimming. There were many highs and lows but overall it was a very respectable showing by my daughter and hard work and dedication paid off for her.
She had her best finishes ever in the finals all three nights and we left Penn State exhausted and worn out. There were so many lessons learned it is hard to sort through them and keep them all straight, but I know as time goes on the experience she gained this weekend will carry on with her for the rest of her life and she will be able to draw on it for the future.

She loves swimming so much and it is awesome to be able to get in the car after a long weekend such as this and have her sit in the back seat and tell you that she can't wait to get back at it for the next meeting coming up in two weeks even in the midst of all of her exhaustion. Because of her great time in the backstroke this weekend she has qualified for another meet that we added to the agenda in August, so our season just got extended by a few days again but that is a good thing.

Next up North Baltimore, then 1 day after we return from there it's back to Penn State for the Middle Atlantic Zones Meet, then we will officially be done until September rolls back around. WHEW!

We Are Here!

2009-07-16T15:47:00.003-04:00

We arrived by 1:15pm today. She races at 5:30 the first of 12 events over the next 4 days.
Up tonight is the 400Freestyle. We are shooting for a better time in hopes of making the Middle Atlantic Zones meet in August.
No matter what the outcome is, we are proud. So many goals, so many achievements. It's a good thing!

Thursday Thunks #10

2009-07-09T00:00:00.001-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted a Thursday Thunks so I'd thought I'd hit them up for a change. This Thursday Thunks is brought to you by Berleen, the number 141 and the color of your underwear. So without further ado away we go!

Do you tend to have a guilty conscious?
Not unless I have reason to.

Do you still have your wisdom teeth?
I never had my wisdom teeth. Lucky me I guess!

Peanut butter- creamy or crunchy?
Depends- if it's on celery then creamy if it's on bread then I love the crunchy!

Get up off your butt. Take 5 steps. Which foot do you start out on?
Left foot.

What color is your favorite kitchen utensil?
Black.

Did you watch the Michael Jackson memorial/funeral?
No.

Do you know anyone who graduated from High School this year? Were you invited to their graduation party? Did you go?
Yes. Yes. Yes.

White with black stripes or black with white stripes?
Black with white stripes.

If you were to call your sixth grade teacher what would they say about you?
Probably that I was very social.

Can you draw a perfect circle?
With some practice, maybe.

What's your favorite scratch and sniff sticker scent?
Should I have one?

What does your sibling do for a living?
Which one? My sister is a Vice President for a national mortgage company.

How many light switches and electrical outlets are in the room that you are in right now?
5 electrical outlets and two light switches.

Do you know sign language?
I used to but now I can only remember some random letters of the alphabet.

Do you step on the cracks in the sidewalk?
If I am thinking about it no I do not. Step on a crack break your mothers back!

And the sheets on your bed look like?
Hunter green and beige stripes.

What is something that everyone else has but you don't?
A love for facebook apps and games.

WW ~ #24

2009-07-08T00:00:00.001-04:00

Photo courtesy of The Sentinel

I am going to home to land of spoiled this weekend.
You can bet your last dollar I'll be spending plenty of time on this boardwalk while there.

Call back later

2009-07-07T08:41:00.003-04:00

Over the course of the next two weeks you will have to call me back. I will not be home. As the days go on the plans continually change because of unforeseen issues causing me to hit the road.

I will embarking on a trip to the land of spoiled this weekend. My Dad is having some health issues and I need to get some questions answered and see things for myself.
However endearing it is that your parents want to protect you from all things bad, it's not so endearing as you get older and are looking out for their best interest.

Answers I need answers.

Next week, midweek, we leave for Junior Olympics so the minisurf can do her thing in the water.

She is at the top of her age group and everyone has high expectations for her and what she can achieve. She has been deflecting all kinds of JO's talk for days now which is the norm for her. Needless to say it will be a very tense week leading up to the meet. She has her routine before a big meet and we all respect her and what she does to get herself prepared.

No matter what happens in the water she has a had a great swimming season this year both in short course and long course, we are very proud of her and her achievements.

We will be spending 5 days at Happy Valley which is not only the home of the best college football team-Penn State, but also home to one of the best creameries in the country. DEATH BY CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM here I come!!! Yes, the creamery is right across from the pool, so I have plans to hit that creamery on a daily basis.

and so the countdown begins

2009-07-06T06:28:00.002-04:00

I was in the shower this morning thinking. It's where I do my best thinking btw.Shut.it. Anyway so I was adding up the days in my head and I came to realize that I now have only 4 more weeks and swimming will be done until September!!!

Big deal right? NO it's a HUGE deal. No more waking up at the ass crack of dawn to drive for 45 minutes ONE way to swim in a outdoor pool, rain or shine and then not to return home until after 11 am. Which btw makes you feel like half your day is already shot. No more leaving the house at 5:30pm for swimming at night until 8pm!! Did you see what I said back there...."NO MORE!!"

Okay so I know I'm not the one doing all the swimming but I have to tell you that the driving gets to you after a while and all this hurry up to get there on time just to sit and wait for 2-3 hours begins to get on your nerves. The only downside I can think of with not having to go to swimming for 3 weeks it will take away my quality walking time. I spend most of the practices walking, it's my "me" time. I throw the iTouch in my ears and walk, and walk and walk. I will miss that time to myself.

I am however, looking forward to family dinners at a decent hour and all together. I love to be able to break bread with all of us together at the same time where we can discuss what went on in our day with each other. I am also looking forward to being able to cook dinner. I love to cook and hate not being able to put together a big meal every night.

So in essence I guess what I am saying is that our summer officially will begin the second week of August and for those three golden weeks we will be a normal family. At least until September rolls around and it all starts up all over again!

Mistakes I've made a few...

2009-07-04T12:25:00.004-04:00

I totally lost my composure this morning. I am ashamed and very saddened by my behavior. I'm so upset and mad at myself. It is not something I will soon forget.

I was buried in getting ready for 3 BBQ's, cutting, chopping, baking, and cooking like a mad woman all morning. Finally finishing up by cutting up fresh fruit for a fruit salad when approached by my daughter asking me to make her a sandwich to which I replied that I was busy. I also added that "you are almost 13 I think a cheese sandwich is one thing you can handle on your own by now." Back to cutting up my fruit and listening to her beg for a sandwich while she was struggling with getting her hair perfect for the day's festivities.

So I gave in and made the sandwich while she was in the bathroom. When she came out to make her own sandwich and I told her "no I made you one" instead of her being happy and thankful she came in the family room and said to me "I can't eat this it has the crust on it!"
You read that right it had the crust on it. She has been a no crust eater since I can remember and for the most part I have always made sandwiches w/ out the crust but lately I have been telling her she is too old to be eating like that.

I then had officially lost it. I had had enough. I lost my composure. I screamed and I yelled my head off. I let it all out I put the fear of God in her eyes. It was the first time I have ever seen a face like that from her. I feel like shit. I feel like I'm in quicksand and can't get a hand out.

I believe with this episode that has just transpired I figured out what I might be doing wrong. I am struggling so hard to keep the lines of communication open as she edges her way into the teenage years that I have been treating her more of a friend than as a daughter. I only hope that it's not too late to put my Mom hat on and leave the friendship wait until she gets older and has a family of her own.

Although I believe I have had a revelation which is great, I feel like shit. I'm so upset with myself on so many levels. I hope I can clean up the mess I have made. I feel like I have let her down and myself down. I have always said that I really don't care if I get to my deathbed and look back on my life and have regrets for myself but one thing I have never wanted to have is regrets concerning my parenting choices. I guess now I can add one regret to that list, I just hope I can straighten the course and sort through the mess I have made and work it all out.
I guess only time will tell. I just can't believe how I have messed up. I'm so disappointed in myself.

Quit your bitching and suck it up!

2009-07-02T06:44:00.002-04:00

My head is exploding. I am having a hard time adjusting. Here's the deal. I have never worked during the summer. Okay well I lied. I actually did when I was in high school and before I got married. However after I got married and became pregnant I quit working to stay home with our baby.

When I finally went back to work it was as a teacher so I had the summers off. I love my summers. Sleeping in. No schedule. Pool parties in the back yard. Come and go as you like.

This year everything has changed. College education is looming. Do you know how expensive college is these days? So I have made the painful decision to work over the summer months.

*GASP*

*GASP*

Crazy I know. Who would have thought that after 12 years with summers off this would be so hard for me? Here we are a month into the summer already and I still have a hard time getting motivated to go to work.

Just a little fyi....I love the job, it's awesome. I have learned so much while doing it. I couldn't be happier while doing it. Oh and one more little fact I neglected to mention I work from home. I know I know what more could I want?

I realize in this economy I am very lucky to have such an opportunity. There is enough work at this job that I could probably work 40+ a week if I so desired. I am very blessed to have such an opportunity.

So why I am bitching? Why am I whining? What's my problem? What the hell?
I'm not sure. The summer schedule might be a slight reason why I am whining. Schedule...see that word isn't supposed to be in the same sentence with the word summer. I just need to suck it up and get with the program and quit my bitching.

So after I hit publish on this post I will not complain again about this subject. I will embrace this opportunity (as I know I should be doing anyway) rather then bitch about it.

Thievery for Thursday!

2009-06-25T00:00:00.004-04:00

I saw this on Cajunvegan's blog and Perpstu's Blog and promptly stole it for mine. If you by chance have not been to either blog what are you waiting for? Their blogs are all kinds of awesome!!

STEP ONE:
Spell your name with songs.

Tom Sawyer – Rush

Oliver James – Fleet Foxes

Prayer for the dying– Seal

Solsbury Hill– Peter Gabriel

Uninvited – Alanis Morissette

Ribbon in the sky – Stevie Wonder

Freedom 90 – George Michael

STEP TWO:

Name: topsurf

Birthday: July 22

Nickname: top, toppy, topper

Eye Color: hazel

Hair Color: currently light brown with blonde highlights, tons of blonde highlights

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

STEP THREE:

The shoes you wore today: flip flops

Your weaknesses: Shrimp, chocolate, shrimp, chocolate, shrimp, chocolate ...you get the point?

Your fear(s): letting my friends down

Your perfect pizza: any pizza is perfect for me

Goal you’d like to achieve: to have no regrets at the end of my life

STEP FOUR:

Your best physical feature: crap! Do I have one??

Your bedtime: bedtime is for wimps! Usually between midnight and 2 am.

Most missed memory: living at home with my whole family when I was young

STEP FIVE:

This Or That…

Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi

McDonald’s or Burger King: neither

Adidas or Nike: Nike

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither

Chocolate or Vanilla: are you serious? Did you not see my food answer above???

Cappuccino or coffee: coffee

STEP SIX:

Do You…

Smoke: No

Curse: There was a point in my life where I was known for NOT cursing EVER. Those days are over I think.

Sing: Even though I can't carry a tune with a handle, yes I sing my lungs out.

Dance: No, I'm not a dancer

Take a shower everyday: YES

Have a crush: JT is my lover.

Do you think you’ve been in love? Um...yes and still am.

Want to go to college: No

Like(d) high school: No, I LOVED high school.

Want to get married: Yes I do so I did and now I am.

Get motion sickness: only on spinning rides at the park

Think you’re attractive: No never not at all.

Think you’re a health freak: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....um....NO!!

Get along with your parents: Absolutely

STEP SEVEN:

In the past month…

Gone to the mall: Yes I walk there on the mornings I drive to the pool

Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No not a fan really

Eaten sushi: No never had it

Been on stage: Yes

Gone skating: yes, rollerskating, roller blading and ice skating.

Made homemade cookies: Yes

Gone skinny-dipping: No

Stolen anything: Nope.

STEP EIGHT:

Ever…

Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes.

If so, was it mixed company: Of course

Flashed anyone: No

Been beaten up: No

Shoplifted: No

STEP NINE:

Age you hope to be married: been there done that.

Number of children: One

Describe your dream wedding: In my church surrounded by family with an awesome reception, it is what I had and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Pure.Perfection.Period.

What country would you most like to visit? France, Ireland, Greece, Italy

STEP TEN:

In the opposite sex…

Best eye color: Blue

Best hair color: Brown

Short hair or long hair: Short

Height: 6-2

STEP ELEVEN:

Number of people I could trust with my life: I have a handful

Number of CDs that I own: A LOT, A whole lot.

Number of tattoos: No not on me.

Number of piercings: 3

Personal Quiz

Who were you with yesterday? My husband, and daughter, and with MissAttitude and her friend Michelle for lunch. Then a birthday party with a lifer & a lot of friends at night.

What woke you up this morning? myself as always.

Where are you? In the family room

Is tomorrow going to be a good day? One can hope

Do you like anybody? Just about everybody

THE PAST

Ever thrown up in public? Yes

Passed out because of alcohol? Close but I think not

What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? Family

THE FUTURE

What kind of home would you like? One in the city

What do you want to be when you grow up? WHAT??? I have to grow up??

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? At a pool.

IN GENERAL

Do you like candy necklaces? nah

When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? I can't even remember

Do you listen to music every day? A B S O L U T E L Y

Do you still go trick or treating? Hell no

What was the last thing you ate? Hot Dog

Are you a fast typer? Yes, I even took typing in school, remember when they taught that class?

What’s your favorite type of soda? I love a Dr. Pepper or cherry pepsi

Have you ever moved? All the time

Have you ever won an award? Yes

Are you listening to music right now? Yes

How long ’till your birthday? Less than a month

When were you the saddest in your whole life? Not bringing that here.

What time is it? 10:26pm

Do you use eBay to buy or sell? I used to sell a lot on there.

Who makes you mad? Depends on the day

Have you ever heard a song written about you? Seriously? That would be a big NO!

Something you want to happen in 2009? Healthiness for everyone I know.

Summer 2009? Various swim meets in and out of state.

Honestly, do you miss 2008? I'm not one to look back, so no I don't

HONESTY SECTION

Honestly, what color is your underwear? Pink

Honestly, what’s on your mind? the million of things I have to get done before morning.

Honestly, what are you doing right now? thinking of the million things I need to get done before morning.

Honestly, have you done something bad today? Not that I know of.

Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? My daughter

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? No

Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? Slow drivers

Honestly, do you bite your nails? No

Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? No

Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? No

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now? No

Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like? No

Honestly, are you in denial? of what?

Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night and eat? No

Honestly, do you like anyone? Yes.

Honestly, does anyone like you? I would hope so

ANGER SECTION

What do you do when you’re mad? Cry and I hate that I do that

What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Say regretful words

Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? Hmmmm....not that I can remember.

Do you swear when you’re mad? yes I do

CRYING SECTION

When was the last time you actually cried? Today

Ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes

Do certain songs make you cry? Yes

What usually makes you cry? Anything can trigger me to cry.

HAPPY SECTION

Are you usually a happy person? Yes

What makes you the happiest? Seeing others happy

Do you believe in yourself? Depends on the situation

When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy? Yes why not?

WW ~ #23

2009-06-24T00:00:00.001-04:00

Saying a prayer that all goes well for my Dad today.

Hell Yeah!!

2009-06-23T00:00:00.002-04:00

It's official! I will officially have entered geekdome by the middle of this week. I admit it, and everyone around me has known it for years, I am addicted to all things shinny and called gadgets. All of my friends can't believe it has taken me this long to take the leap to the iPhone. I have had the iTouch since last year and it is hands down the best gadget I have ever purchased. Every time one of my friends showed up with the iPhone I went green with envy. I'm so excited because not only am I getting a smart phone....I"m getting the smartest phone out there! Hell Yeah!!

Eat, Sleep, Swim

2009-06-21T20:13:00.006-04:00

I need to get back to blogging. I have been way too lazy and I have way too much up in my head that I need to get out. I miss not doing that as much as I would like to. Tonight I will start with the most recent addition to the overload on my brain.

Today I had to let go of something that was near and dear to my heart. It's where my daughter started her swimming career. I have to let go of the summer swim team.

It is where my daughter got her first opportunity to step into the water and it is where she first fell in love with the water. It is a program that now being turned around and we've put a lot of hard work into seeing the program do just that.

This program has given her so much and has been such a stepping stone for her swimming career.

I am going to step down as the Vice President on Monday officially.
I will continue however, to give to this program with my time. I can't walk away cold turkey. It has been a part of my life for over 6 years.

There are several things that were great about the summer swim league.

It's fun.
There is absolutely no pressure.
McDonald's after every meet. (Not my favorite thing by any stretch of the imagination)
She's at the top of her age group. (This is a excellent place to be!)
Two of my lifers have children on the team, which makes for a ton of fun to be had by the three of us.

My daughter had a very successful Friday at the Elite Meet, however, Saturday and Sunday was quite a different story.

While there are lessons to be learned, they will take time.

Finally on Sunday in between races she was told by her coach that she must stop doing all other activities and only concentrate on this swim team if she wants to take her swimming to the next level. She needs to put all her energy into this one program. She needs to stop spreading herself too thin.

Simply put from now on she just needs to sleep, eat, & swim. And yes, that is a photograph taken of the back of my car.

Life

2009-06-14T09:38:00.004-04:00

life rolls along

life has to be lived

life isn't always fun

life will make you sometimes smile

life is oft times interesting

life is new things to learn

life is remembering the memories

life is not to be passed by

life isn't always fair

life can sneak up on you and surprise you

life will make you sometimes cry

life is yours to create

you get what you give

sometimes you need to be reminded to go out and live

carpe diem....seize the day

when your story is written

what will it say?

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

~Braveheart

One of those days

2009-06-03T23:14:00.003-04:00

Today was just one of those days.

No sleep sucks. I knew it was coming and I'm only surprised it took so long to arrive again. Hello my old friend insomnia.

One good thing is the gym I joined opens it's doors at 4:30am so when I am not sleeping at least I have some place to go. Yes, I was doing cardio by 5am this morning.

Listening to your voice mail for the first time in 4 or 5 days and realizing you have a dermatologist appointment for a mole removal that you totally forgot about is a doubled edge sword. One the first side I didn't worry about it for weeks in advance (obviously I forgot about it). On the other side, I then worried all day until the appointment.

Speaking of the appointment. Three things of note happened at this appointment.
The first of which I observed a 70+ year old woman who came into the office today wearing a pair of skin tight pants that had ROCK ROYALTY printed on them across her ass. If you know me you know I am not a fan of anyone of any age wearing any kind of pants with writing across their ass, but this pushed me over the edge. Seriously.Unacceptable.Period.
The scheduled time for my appointment was 1:30pm, time I actually got in the procedure room 3:35pm. The following is an exchange between myself and the nurse on the way back to the room.

Nurse: "Finally, sorry this took a while."
Me: "It's okay."
Nurse: "It's good you didn't have anything else to do today."
Me: "Ah...yes, sorry but I did have other things to do today."
Nurse: "Oh you did? Oops."

Nice huh?

After consulting with the surgeon he decided to take two moles off my face instead of one. I never had it done before. Biggest surprise? Stitches, I never thought I'd have stitches. I go back next Wednesday here's hoping I don't sit there for another two hours.

2 days until my daughter graduates elementary school. It's gonna be a rough morning for me on Friday. I predict lots of tears being shed. The closing Mass is at 8:30, class dismisses at 10am. We are then going out for breakfast and then going to go shopping. Wait a minute....how did she get so grown up so fast?

Today I got the news that the doctors think my Dad's cancer has returned. Words cannot express how I have felt all day. After several phone calls I finally got all the news straight. He will go to a see a surgeon that his doctor has recommended for a consult and then the surgery (hopefully) will be very shortly after that appointment. I'm hoping for the best.

"Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. "
Samuel Smiles

WW ~ #22

2009-06-03T09:26:00.002-04:00

It's now personal.... AGAIN

I believe I can fly

2009-05-28T00:00:00.003-04:00

I saw this on one of my favorite blogs I read banded books by cajunvegan and knew right away I had to use it for myself. Thank you cajunvegan.

Up....up....and away we go.....

When you looked at yourself in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
"uuugggggg.....Lord I need some help!"

How much cash do you have on you?
Nada...nothing...zero....zilch!

What's a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Core

Favorite Planet?
Moon, I would just love to walk on the moon, looks like so much fun.

Who's the 4th person on your missed calls list on your cell phone?
Rhonda

What's your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I have no ring tones, just one of the factory set ones. Is that boring?

What shirt are you wearing?
Penn State Hoodie-shut it, it's cold up here today!

Do you label yourself?
Nope I'll leave that to others.

Name the brand of shoes you are wearing.
Ralph Lauren socks.... no shoes.

Bright or dark room?
If there is a movie on, dark room. If anything else is going on bright room.

What do you think of the person who took this survey before you?
I love her to the moon and beyond, one of my besties.

What does your watch look like?
Silver link watch, slightly over sized chronograph with a light blue face.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Working.

What did your last message you received on your cell phone say?
Thinking of you both, super happy for you congratulations!

Where is your nearest 7-11?
No where near here that's for sure.

What's a word you say a lot?
Absolutely.

Who told you he/she loved you last?
My daughter.

Last furry thing you touched?
Wow, I have no animals, so I have no clue.

How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
One antibiotic.

How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None, I'm a digital girl, 100%!

Favorite age you have been so far?
33

Your worst enemy?
Sleep.

What's your current desktop picture?

What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I love you too, have a great practice."

If you had to choose between a million bucks and being able to fly what would you choose?
....if I can see it
then I can do it
If I just believe it
there's nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
spread my wings and fly away....

Do you like someone?
Absolutely.

The last song you listened to
courtesy of MissAttitude on Blip.fm

What time of day were you born?
6:33 pm

Where did you live in 1987?
The Poconos.

Are you jealous of anyone?
No, the grass isn't always greener.

Is anyone jealous of you?
I hope not, that grass isn't always greener, works both ways.

Where were you when 9/11 happened?
In school teaching my class.

What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Stare at it like an idiot and then kick it.

Do you consider yourself kind?
I try to be.

If you had to get a tattoo where would it be?
It wouldn't because I wouldn't.

If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be?
French.

Would you move for the person you loved?
I have and I would do it again, yes.

Are you touchy feely?
Mostly yes.

What's your life's motto?
"It's not the length of life but the depth of life that matters." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Name three things you have on you at all times.
Wedding rings, livestrong bracelet, scapular.

What's your favorite town/city?
Paris.

What's the last thing you paid for with cash?
My daughter's personal trainer's workout today.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper and mailed it?
Do cards count?

Can you change the oil on a car?
No- when that needs to be changed I'll just trade in the car.

Your first love what was the last thing you heard about him/her?
Honestly, I really can't remember.

How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Very far, my father and Uncle have done extensive work on that.

The last time you dressed fancy what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
The family tea I had in my class room a few weeks ago. I wore a nice spring dress.

Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Yes my side from the big fall last week.

Have you been burned by love?
Absolutely.

WW ~ #21

2009-05-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

When my MIL passed away from cancer I bought a ton of these and gave them to all my friends. I kept reserves because they do eventually wear out and break. I vowed never to be without one on my wrist and to this day have followed through on my vow. These will ensure that my vow will continue on.....

Once wasted space.....

2009-05-24T00:00:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I transformed this stretch of backyard property
in to what I hope to be
a lovely, thriving, flower garden.

This is the finished project. A soon to be flourishing flower garden. It's amazing how even a small space like this can take up most of the day to put all together. I plan on taking this same shot once a week all summer so you can see how much the flowers grow and bloom. Next up on the agenda the soon to be garden around the pool.

Being stuck sucks

2009-05-22T00:00:00.001-04:00

Photograph courtesy: oregon.gov/OHLA/

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

It's been a long time since I posted last. A week. A week for me is a long time considering I'm still coming off the high of blogger 365.

I have hesitated to post because I am feeling whinny lately. A emotional mess to be quite frankly with you.

Here's why:
My bestie's son is graduating from Catholic School and moving on to Catholic High School and for the first time in many years our paths will not be crossing anymore due to our children going in totally separate directions. While we are both very happy for each other's children we are both very sad at the differences we will now be experiencing not with each other.
My Goddaughter just went to her first prom, on the same day my other Goddaughter (prom Goddaughter's sister) became a teenager.
My nephew graduated high school exactly one week later.
My daughter will soon be venturing away from her Catholic school and move on to public Junior High. Leaving a school that she has been in for 6 years. A school that I have loved dearly. She needs to move on and I know that but I have still been a mess since sending in the registration forms.

Too much all at once. I have been a bundle of tears since all of this hit me last week. I can't seem to hold conversations with friends without crying, I can't hold conversations with the said people listed up there ^^^^^^ without crying.

I'm left wondering where my breaking point is? How long do I go on feeling all of this and then let it go? Why can't I just move on and just let these things go?

Normally I embrace change, I have never really had a problem with change. Hell, I've even been known to rearrange my furniture every two weeks just to shake things up a bit. Why can't I flow with the changes that in front of me now? Will every little milestone from now on effect me in this manner?

I hope not, but right now I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Pretty soon now you're gonna get a little older

Time may change me

But I cant trace time

I said that time may change me

But I cant trace time

Thoughts

2009-05-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Just some things that have been on my mind today.....

Fresh green beans are one of my favorite vegetables I made them tonight for dinner. The only downside is they get cold very fast after taking them off the stove.

I just realized today that I still have the protecting skin over my front of my iTouch. I am happy because there is not once scratch on the screen. All.kinds.of.awesome.

Speaking of the iTouch, last week I downloaded the kindle app for the iTouch on the persistence of my best friend. One word. FANTASTIC. I am the first person to tell you that I go to the library every week to take out books, I am at the book store at least once a week to buy books, I am probably one of Amazon.com's best book buying customers, however, this app is fantastic. I found a book I wanted in the kindle store, downloaded it in probably under 10 seconds right to my iTouch. Started reading it right away. I still prefer the feel of a book in my hand, but when I am traveling and spending endless time at the pool, this is the way to go. I love it! Best part, the kindle app is free, I didn't pay $300.00 for one!

While I'm not a huge fan of American Idol and don't watch that often because of night time commitments that I have, I did happen to catch Adam Lambert's rendition of Led Zepplin's song Whole Lotta Love last week. And if I may borrow a quote "he hit it out of the park!" While I don't really care who wins, I have no clue what any of their names even are other than Adam's, that boy can sing!

It's official. I am addicted to taking photos. I can't leave the house without a camera (or two) in my grasp. I have actually turned around the car when realizing I didn't have one with me. I have been pulling over the car to get a shot. I look at everything as a potential photograph. I am currently seeing the world through rose colored camera lenses and loving it I might add.

On Sunday I finally made the big trek into our attic. We really don't store anything in our attic with the exception of some outdoor Christmas decorations and some of our things from when we were in high school. I have been hunting high and low for my photographs from when I traveled overseas to England and France. SCORE! I found them on Sunday buried deep in a box shoved way in the corner. I have been going through them ever since and I am now starting to scan them on to my hard drive to be able to preserve them forever. I took 21 rolls of film with me on that trip. Yes this was long before digital cameras. That was the best trip I have ever been on in my life and I believe part of the reason is because even though I was very young, I knew it would probably be the only time I would ever be there. I took in every inch of the cities of Paris and London and I have the photographs to prove it. I am still holding on to a ever so slight hope that will get back to Paris one day, I would love to sit for hours by the Eiffel Tower again, or stroll through the Louvre and Notre Dame. ....sigh....

Eiffel Tower

Notre Dame

The Photo's aren't the best. I know. This was way before I had a nice camera. Just fyi matte finish is the worst to scan. One other thing I remembered from being in Paris was while all of my friends were busy photographing people and each other, I was snapping photos of the architecture, I forgot how far back my love for architecture went.

Following up on my big changes post of last week. My best friend has been going through big changes lately or should I say we have been going through them together. Our children have been growing up together and beginning this fall they will split up for the first time in many many years. They are like brother and sister and though I know they will both be fine and continue to be great friends it's still hard to see your child and others grow up and move on in different directions. Both me and my bestie, while happy, are also feeling kind of sentimental and have been shedding a lot of tears together this week.

My flowers got hit hard last night by the frost we had here. Everyone who lives here always says do not plant your flowers until after Mothers Day. Well they are planted and it's after Mothers Day and they got hit hard last night. I was extremely bummed. If the rabbits and deer aren't eating my flowers the frost is killing them. I can't win!

.....cry cry cry......

A preview of things to come

2009-05-10T00:00:00.001-04:00

Courtesy of www.FriedmanArchives.com

Today is the last day of the weekend. I can't begin to tell you how much I wish I was going to spend my Sunday this way.

7 more days and then my summer officially begins. To say that I can't wait is an understatement.

Although I will be working this summer, it will be from home and on my own set hours. So I officially have two more Sunday's that I will dread because Monday's of work follow them until my summer begins.

I hope you all have a fantastic Sunday and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

The Winds of Change

2009-05-08T05:49:00.005-04:00

I haven't been posting much at all lately. I have had way too much going on on the home front and no time. I have so much going on in my head that I needed to just get something out or I would go crazy.
Lately I have been a bag of emotions. There are big changes coming and I am having a difficult time processing them all. The biggest change is my daughter. Over the past week I have spent a great deal of time with her and it has suddenly hit me that she is *really* growing up. It seems as if I have blinked my eyes and she has gone from a preschooler to a preteen.

The other night I was sitting in the stands watching her swim practice, I had my itouch on and was reading, I looked up and started watching her, really watching her. A mellow song came on the rotation and I immediately started to cry. She was so beautiful in the water, such a joy to watch and I wondered, when did she grow up? When did I miss it? How did this happen? Where was I while all of this was going on?
Of course I was here for it all, but it just seems like a blink of the eye and the years have all flown by.

We arrived at her school together yesterday for the annual breakfast with Mom event. I knew this would be the last year I probably got to do anything like this with her at school because next year she moves on to public middle school. When I left I sat in my car and cried because I knew she was standing in the doorway of a whole new experience and a whole new part of her life. The whole world is before her and she ready to take it all on. It truly is a exciting thing for her but a scary thing for her mom.

I'm sure I will never be ready to let her go completely, and as each day goes by I get closer to that day, and every day a little bit more of her is let go so that she can become the best young adult that she can be. I hope that our closeness is never lost, and that I have laid the proper ground work for her to make the right decisions when faced with all the challenges that teenagers are faced with in this world today. Secretly I hope that when she does have free time she still wants to come sit next to me on the couch cuddle up and watch a movie or chat for a while. I hope she never gets too old for that.

11 years ago

2009-05-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

The other morning at work I was talking to one of my very good friends before school started. I stopped by to tell her that I was thinking about her and her Mom. Her mom was admitted to the hospital on Sunday morning. She has congestive heart failure and her heart is only working at 20%. She said that she knows this is how it will be from now on...in and out of the hospital until she passes on.

Sad, very sad.

Our conversation stayed with me all morning and for the rest of this day. Not only because of the sadness of it but also because she shared with me that on Friday she went to visit her Mom. While visiting with her Mom she said that they had the best visit together that she had ever had with her. She was back Saturday to visit her and the same thing happened again. She then asked me, "Do You think that my Mom knows that she is dying?" She said this because she was just taken aback about their visit the two previous days. I told her honestly I believe she does.

When my husband's mother was dying from cancer, all she wanted to do was to make it to Easter that year. She wanted to have a big meal, watch the grandchildren have a egg hunt in the yard, and have quality family time. We had that holiday, the egg hunt, the meal and that quality family time.

I made the dinner with her as she couldn't do a lot herself at that time she gave me some recipes for my husband of dishes he loves that she made for him. It was a joy in my life that I will never forget. That afternoon meant more to me than anything else I had ever done.

Shortly after that holiday things went down hill fast. She did not live too much longer. However the memory does.

Did she know? Yes, I believe she did.

She fought so hard to reach that holiday. We were so grateful that she did. There were things said on that holiday that were never said before. There were memories that will never be forgotten.

So it is my personal belief that when someone is suffering with an illness, they make their peace, they prepare themselves and yes they know.

Somehow however, myself I can not prepare, make my peace, and know.

Let me explain. Although my common sense told me what was going on in reality, I did not want to grab reality. I wanted everything to go on as normal before the illness set in. I wanted visits, shopping trips, dinners over at their house. I (very selfishly) did not want that part of my life to be gone. I didn't want my husband to be without his parents at such a young age. I wanted my daughter to have her grandparents in her life. I didn't want her to grow up without knowing what a great family her father came from.

It was NOT FAIR.

As my High School English teacher told me repeatedly "Life is not fair."

That's right it's not.

I do however have one thing that I hold near to me in my heart. As fate would have it my daughter was born on my husbands Mom's birthday.

Talk about comfort. I have the comfort of knowing that in my heart, she is my daughter's personal angel. I have no doubt about this fact at all. There are many days I know she's been sitting right up on my daughter's shoulder, keeping watch over her, and protecting her.

It was 11 years ago almost to the day that my husband lost his dear mother to cancer. He lost both of his parents that year, his father passed away from a heart attack 6 months before his mother passed. It was a very tough time in our lives, it never gets easier. There are times I look at my daughter and think to myself, man, his parents would have loved to have seen this.

We were very close. We spent a lot of time together, the first year we were married we spent more time at their house then we did at our own apartment. They were both so loving, so giving of themselves and lived for their grandchildren. It is still very hard to look back and believe that it has been 11 years, and to believe that they are not here with us anymore.

WW ~ # 20

2009-04-29T04:50:00.001-04:00

Fire in the sky.

Happy Birthday!

2009-04-28T05:23:00.004-04:00

Photo courtesy of http://www.beadsnpieces.co.uk/

On this day 45 Years ago my best friend, lover, confidant, rock, intimate friend, soul mate, commendable, valuable, worthy, & wonderful husband was born. So simply put Happy Birthday Baby, I love you more than life itself.

Since the day we met you have been my Ribbon in the Sky.

What?

2009-04-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

WHAT?
WHERE?
What happened?
I can't believe it's already Monday.
WTF?
I want a HUGE do over on this past weekend.
Do you?

The Countess

2009-04-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

She has finally arrived in all her glory. The Stealth Silver Queen I have named, with help from my great friend CitizenJaney, The Countess. She is beautiful isn't she?

It has taken me over 2 full days to pimp her out and transfer all my work files on to her. I haven't had much time left over to play with her yet and find out just what she has under the hood, so to speak. One thing I have had time to figure out though is that I miss my windows XP. The Countess came loaded with Windows Vista. Oy......vey. While Windows Vista looks shiny and beautiful, it's a pain in my ass. It ain't no XP so to speak. So last night while I had over 3 hours to kill I made a trip to my local Barnes & Noble and lost myself in the following:

So many choices, so little time. I hate that I had to resort to buying a book to figure out my computer. I try to do as much as I can by trial an error, that way I remember what I did and how I did it. I am for the most part self taught everything on the computer, I have mastered Adobe Illustrator, Microsoft Publisher, Microsoft Office and all it's components, and much more all on my own. But this.....Vista.....grrrrrrr. It doesn't play nice. So I came home with one of the Vista guides above that will show me how to navigate through this beast.

Maybe instead of buying one of those books above I should have just purchased this book, because everyone knows I am a wanna be Geek Goddess!

WW ~ # 19 EARTH DAY 2009

2009-04-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

Earth Day 2009

In the near future

2009-04-20T00:00:00.002-04:00

When I walked into the kitchen and I witnessed this I just had to grab my camera and take some shots. .....and I quote "What am I doing? Oh I just figured I clean a little bit to make up for something I'm bound to do wrong in the near future."

Look what I found

2009-04-18T19:54:00.003-04:00

Today I was a mad woman on a mission in my own home. I got up with one goal in mind. I wanted to tear apart my family room and spring clean it from top to bottom, the whole nine yards. Never mind the mid 70 degree weather outside, I had a mission on the inside. Rearrange the furniture, move my computer, clean out the desk, yada yada yada. While my better half was outside cleaning the cars I started in on my mission. I rearranged (several times i might add) the furniture, cleaned the windows (there are seven in this room), vacuumed the carpets, cleaned the furniture, and then I started in on my computer desk. I have to be honest, I don't really go into the desk often, it's more just a place where my computer is and do my work, I don't really have a need to store many things so I seldom open the drawers in it. While going through the desk I came upon this.

I immediately fell on my butt. My eyes filled with tears. I couldn't believe it. I had totally forgotten about this little book I had written many, many, moons ago. This was a diary I had started when I was pregnant with my daughter. Her nursery was all things Noah's Ark. I had received this journal as a gift early on in my pregnancy. I decided to put all my feelings into words from the beginning through her first year of life. Please keep in mind I am no writer by any stretch of the means so this is pretty raw stuff, but I thought I would save it and give it to her when she got married.

I then spent the next hour or so on the floor reading, reliving, crying, laughing, unbelieving. Why the unbelieving you say? I can't believe that she was that little. I can't believe that those days have passed me by so quickly that I can barely remember them. I can't believe that she is 12 going on 18 and that first year seems so abstract to me now.

While it's highly personal and I don't care to bring much of it to my blog I will share a few thoughts from it.

*On New Years Eve you were 6 weeks old. How time flies. We went to my Aunt's home for dinner on New Years Day, we were talking to you and you giggled for the first time. You are starting to jabber to me when I talk to you. Especially in the morning when I bring you downstairs.

*January 27th I am trying desperately to get you to sleep in your crib and not your car seat. You are upstairs now screaming and crying your eyes out, but you have to get used to your crib during the day. I have sat here for over 15 minutes and I can't take it anymore I must go rescue you. It is amazing how cute you are even when you are crying, even though you are over 2 1/2 months old I still look at you and amazed by the miracle that you are.

* Wow over three months old and you are doing so much, you have discovered your hands, you can hold on to some rattles now, and you even put some in your mouth. Like myself you seem to love music. I hoped and prayed you would. You smile from ear to ear when you hear any kind of music and turn your head to see where it's coming from.

*June 3rd You got your third tooth today. We just can't believe that you have multiple teeth. Some of your milestones now are clapping, waving bye-bye, touch my nose when I tell you to, and you sit up well by yourself. It seems like everyday you are doing something new. I think a lot about what you will be like as you get older, wondering, but I know only time will tell and I can't tell you how great it is to watch you get bigger and learn things, how amazing it all is. I am so happy I am not working, I would miss so much. I really can't believe how blessed I am to be able to be at home with you.

The journal goes on and on over the course of the first year as I said before, but what is even more precious is the fact that my husband's parents are mentioned very often throughout. They both passed away very suddenly when my tween was a year and a half old. It is so meaningful that she will have this and even though her grandparents aren't still with us, she can share in the love that they had for her, and get a sense of where her father came from. Steep with memories. A book where you hang on every word, filled with love, and blessings. I can't tell you what an emotional read this was for both me, my husband and my daughter today. It was nice to sit down, read the words, and remember.

Today

2009-04-17T00:00:00.001-04:00

Today was a good day.

Today I got to read the paper on while sitting on the front porch

Today I had a serious case of Spring Fever

Today I was sad to hear that John Madden is retiring from broadcasting, while I am aware he is either a hate or love guy, I loved him. His passion for NFL football was undeniable and infectious. I learned a great deal from listening to him commentate on many, many NFL games. I will miss him.

You also cannot be a true baseball fan and not be saddened by the news of Harry Kalas' passing earlier this week. He will be remembered with ceremonies this weekend at Citizen's Bank Park when the Phillies are back in town. I was happy to hear that every time a home run is hit in our home ballpark from now on, we will hear Harry call the home run. I grew up sitting at my Pop-Pop's house in Philly listening to to Harry call the games. He will also be missed.

Today I pampered myself and made shrimp for lunch. I need to do things like that more often.

Today I cut back on my tea intake. Since discovering I have acid reflux, I had to quit coffee, so I moved on to tea but it is effecting my kidney so I need to cut way back on the tea intake. Today I started that process. It is going to be very difficult not having something hot to drink first thing in my morning to get my brain going.

Today I spent almost my whole day in the classroom one on one with various students engaged in conversation. I can't tell you how refreshing it is talking to a 4 year old, they are honest, loving, and thought provoking. Children at this age are wonderful. Pure. Innocent. Excited. Moved by the smallest things. I can't begin to tell you what a privilege it is to be with these children everyday.

Today I took an hour out of my day to just sit and read. I have been lured away from my reading time for a few weeks and now I have the fire to read back, and I couldn't be happier. There is nothing better than being whisked away to some far away place and time even for just one short hour a day. Books to me, are the movie theatre of the mind.

Today I was very proud when someone stopped me and took time to thank me for "the wonderful thank you note" they had received from my tween. I knew she had written a thank you note to this person but I had no clue what she had written. I am a firm believer in writing thank you notes especially when someone does something nice for you, and I have tried to pass that on to my tween. Sometimes I feel like it is a lost gesture. Today it was nice to be reassured that I am teaching her the right thing.

Today I opened the windows in my home and let the slight breeze blow through the house from front to back. There is nothing like opening up your windows for the first time from a long winter's nap.

Today I got to grab my camera and sit on the ground outside and take several shots of my perennials poking up through the soil. I can't wait until the come fully up and start blooming!

Today everything that happened in my life was not positive but I refused to let what wasn't ruin my mood. Yes....today was a good day. I hope yours was too!

Thursday Thunks ~ #9

2009-04-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

Since it's Thursday it must be time for Edition #9 of Thursday Thunks! This week's questions are brought to you by Kimber, the color rainbow and the number 2.

Recently Berleen and I discovered the allure of the Twilight series. Have you ever been sucked in to the latest "thing"? (Like Harry Potter, the movie Titanic, social networking, etc. etc. etc.)
Are you serious? Of course, all the time.

What software do you use for email?
I use outlook express for my home email addy, Microsoft Office Outlook for my business addy and gmail & yahoo for registering my name online.

Are you comfortable being nude?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ummmm......that would be a resounding NO!

What's something you plan on doing this summer?
Let's see....how do you spell.....R-E-L-A-X-I-N-G!!!! Sitting by my pool and relaxing, mostly on the weekends since I will be working for the most part this summer.

Do you have a favorite movie/book quote? If so what is it?
My favorite movie quote is "Fluff and fold my friend, fluff and fold, it's all fluff and fold." by Emilio Estevez in St. Elmo's Fire

How many email addresses do you have?
Wow, this may take some time to add them all up.....at present time our family has a total of 9.

Is the sky falling?
Depends on the day.

Have you been to the Grand Canyon?
No, but I've seen it on the Brady Bunch and it looks pretty cool. It is actually on my bucket list of places to see.

When was the last time you mailed a hand written letter?
Do hand written cards count? Lord, I have no clue but it's been a long time.

Crossroads

2009-04-14T00:00:00.001-04:00

Photo courtesy of http://www.hipforums.com/

I am at a huge crossroads. I have recently made a few decisions that will effect my life over the course of the next few years at the very least. I am nervous. I am not sure I have made the right choices. I think I have but I am not 100% sure of myself. I have discussed these decisions over and over again with my husband and our tween. While some of the decisions can be hard, and even painful, hopefully they will be for the best over the long run. I believe in following my heart, maybe to a fault, but I do believe that in my heart I will always do what is right. What do you do when you have to make tough decisions? What do you do when you are at a crossroads? How do you decide? Have you ever stopped mid stream and turned around in a 180 degree turn? I don't believe I ever have but there is always a first time for everything, right?

Weekend in Photos

2009-04-12T21:50:00.007-04:00

While he/she may look cute and innocent, I can't stand him/her.
These rabbits are all over our neighborhood eating anything
they can get their teeth on.
If I had the money back for the plants and
flowers these rabbits have chewed down to the roots,
I could easily retire.

This you are going to find impossible to believe but it is true. Every year for the past 4 years, yes that's right I said 4 years we have had one of these (not sure if it's the same exact one) on top of our front porch light sitting on top of her eggs until they hatch. It makes a complete mess of our front porch and we can't use the front door for a while but when those little ones are born it's well worth the mess and inconvenience. I can't wait to post the photos once the little birdies are hatched.

This is NO way to start off an Easter Break.

I Started my weekend Friday night off with this to accompany my dinner.

I made homemade cupcakes to surprise the tween for Easter.

Since she is obsessed with all things Twilight,
it was a Twilight themed basket this year.
Btw it was a hit!

She wore this all day.

The tween enjoyed Shrimp Scampi for lunch today.

My husband enjoyed a plate of all things Easter dinner for lunch.

The following two photos are the view from the
restaurant we ate at on Easter. The restaurant sits on top of a mountain
and the view is breathtaking,
you can literally see for miles and miles on a clear day.

It was a beautiful day.

I hope you had a wonderful Easter Holiday.
It's amazing how fast your time off goes by isn't it?

Thursday Thunks ~ # 8

2009-04-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

This 8th edition of Thursday Thunks is brought to you by Berleen, the color orange and the number 9999.

Shall we begin, yes, lets.

What was the last thing you ate?
A very boring tossed salad for dinner.

I say the color purple, what do you think of?
Whoopie Goldberg, I have no reason I just do.

Lamps or ceiling lights?
Depends on the room and what is taking place. If we are just watching TV or reading then it's the lamp, if we are entertaining then the ceiling lights go on.

What color rabbit is your favorite?
I am the wrong person to ask this question. I don't have any love for rabbits. Why you ask? They take over our neighborhood in the spring and summer. They eat everything I plant in the yard. Sorry but I have no love for the rabbits so I don't care what color they are.

Your car breaks down on a deserted road you phone has no signal what do you do?
Get my butt out and open the hood, look around, have no clue what I am looking at or for. Close the hood, lock the car and get to walking.

What's the one thing most of your friends do online that you just can't understand the fascination and do not participate in?
I would have to say SL a lot of my online friends are on that site and really love it. I guess I don't have enough knowledge about it.

What do you need right now.
The desire to work.

And your most serious injury you have ever had?
A ruptured spleen when I was in first grade. I sledding accident I turned to miss a fence and hit a tree instead. The steering arm when into my stomach and ruptured my spleen.

What's the most evil thing you've ever done?
I have no clue.

Give us some random fact about you.
You would rarely find me without a smile on my face. I am an extreme optimist.

Not so WW # 18 Summer ain't what it used to be!

2009-04-08T04:59:00.002-04:00

I dove into Google calendar last night to share my summer availability for working at my other job. Yeah, I'll pretty much be working the summer away for the first time in I can't remember how many years. Needing.To.Make.Money.Sucks.Period.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I"ll get to it in a minute....or two...or three...

2009-04-04T19:49:00.005-04:00

My whole life I have needed to be pushed. To this day one of my favorite people in the world is a teacher who pushed me like no other in high school. I have no clue why I need someone to push me. I guess deep down I'm just lazy. The people who I admire the most are the people in my life who have pushed me. Does that make sense? Friends who have asked me the hard questions and made me look at myself deeper to find the answers. My latest issue is meeting deadlines. Deadlines have been a huge fail for me. I have no clue why. I know they are there looming over my head like a huge rain cloud ready to dump on me any minute. I know one thing for sure, it's not that I don't love what I am doing, because I love my job, I love everything about it. I wait and wait and procrastinate doing ANYTHING that I can do to avoid doing the task at hand.I've even been caught doing laundry and unloading the dishwasher to avoid working. GASP! Does this happen to you? Are you a big procrastinator? What gets you motivated? What gets you moving? How do you snap yourself out of the procrastination mode?

Come on readers I need a push, lend a procrastinator some help won't you?

Blogging Without Obligation

2009-04-01T00:28:00.000-04:00

"I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean..."

As you may or may not know last week I made the tough decision to let blogger 365 go. It was a very difficult decision but one I no doubt had to make. For some time I have had my eye on a photo that is on the sidebar of one of the blogs I follow A Dingo's Got My Barbie.

I clicked on that photograph the other morning while reading his blog and it led me to his post on this matter:

*************************************************************************************

* Blogging without obligation

After coming across what seemed to be the 4000th or so post on someone’s blog starting with “I’m sorry I haven’t posted in awhile.” Tartix decided it is time to rethink what makes a good blog and the expectations that have come to be part of it. I am thinking that no one should utter those words again . . .and with that thought I give you Blogging Without Obligation.

If you feel the same way feel free to grab the logo, make a logo or whatever you would like to do!

Because you shouldn’t have to look at your blog like it is a treadmill.

Because its okay to just say what you have to say. If that makes for a long post, fine. Short post, fine. Frequent post, fine. Infrequent post, fine.

Because its okay to not always be enthralled with the sound of your own typing.

Because sometimes less is more.

Because only blogging when you feel truly inspired keeps up the integrity of your blog.

Because they are probably not going to inscribe your stat, link and comment numbers on your tombstone.

Because for most of us blogging is just a hobby. A way to express yourself and connect with others. You should not have to apologize for lapses in posts. Just take a step back and enjoy life, not everything you do has to be “bloggable”.

Because if you blog without obligation you will naturally keep your blog around longer, because it won’t be a chore. Plus, just think you will be doing your part to eradicate post pollution. One post at a time. . .

This has been copied from tartix.com simply to speed up the page load, it’s all her idea (I’m not trying to make it look like it’s mine.

*************************************************************************************

After reading this post, I knew I had to use it. That post spoke to a lot of how I felt about my blogging. It hit the nail on the head for myself. I started this blog for very personal reasons, and that is why it was so hard to let the 365 go, because I feel like I am not fulfilling my goals that I set for myself. However, I felt like lately I had be compromising my posts "just to get one out there for 365." There is a huge amount of pressure that goes with 365, just ask any blogger who is following it. Immediately after my post went online last week, I felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. The pressure was off. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that I clicked on that photo and read that post and realized that I wasn't the only one to feel that way. This may not be a fit or speak for everyone but speaks to the way I feel for myself. I have a great deal of admiration for those bloggers who do follow it. I know what it takes to post every day. Myself though, I have moved on from blogger 365 to Blogging Without Obligation.

2 Things

2009-03-31T00:00:00.001-04:00

I totally stole this from my dear friend @Deyvl Girl. Have you been to her blog, Random Thoughts and Musings? If not you should because it's awesome.

Two names you go by:
1. Mom
2. MOTHER (when my kid is mad at me)

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. flannel pants
2. t-shirt

TWO OF your favorite things to do
1. Read
2. take photographs

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. to have a week off from EVERYTHING
2. to travel

Two Pets that you have or have had
1. a dog Kingy
2. a dog Barron

Two people who will fill this out:
1. I have no expectations
2. see number 1

Two things you did last night:
1. laundry
2. took a shower

Last thing you ate:
1. chicken
2. cheese stick

Two people you last talked to:
1. my husband
2. my daughter

Two things you’re doing tomorrow:
1. going to work
2. driving to swimming

Longest trips taken:
1. Europe
2. Florida

Your favorite holidays:
1. St. Patricks Day
2. Christmas

Two favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. soda- I love a classic coke however, I don't drink soda anymore but it's still one of my favorites.

Dinner ~ Brazilian Style

2009-03-29T05:50:00.007-04:00

When my husband and I were first married he had a job where he traveled all over the world. His favorite place to go was Brazil. He would come home and rave endlessly about the food there. So when we got wind that there was an authentic Brazilian restaurant in our area we decided it was some where we had to go. So last night we ventured out to Rios Steakhouse with our best friends for some drinks and good food. From the moment we walked in the door, we were greeted by all things Brazil. The owners are from Brazil and all the employees are too. When I walked in I immediately looked to my left there was the pit with all the meats just grilling away. There was a server there, I grabbed my camera and he showed off a few of the the choices for us.

We were seated and started looking over the drink menu. I however didn't need to look at the menu I knew exactly what I was going to order. On the recommendation of some of my friends earlier in the afternoon, I immediately ordered a Caipirinha.

Let me just tell you, this drink was one of the best mixed drinks I have ever had the pleasure of tasting. I am under the opinion that any drink that has a lime in it is a winner in my book and this drink certainly was.

From the fried bananas to the 20 choices of meats, to the grilled pineapple and cheesecake, (yes I ignored my new acid reflux induced diet for one night) it was the best meal I have had in a long time. We had a great time. There is nothing that can top getting together with your closest friends over drinks and a great meal where you are not rushed and can enjoy each other's company for hours.

There was only one way to complete the night. Heading back to their house for after dinner drinks and NOVANATION on the television.

Despite the fact that we were interrupted by Earth Hour, a great online friend kept me updated through twitter, ( a thousand thank you's) after Earth hour was up the TV went on and we saw the last 5 seconds and their exciting win! The fact that my VILLANOVA NOVANATION won was just the topper on our night. Final FOUR can you believe it? Yipppppppeeeeeeeee! Go Wildcats!

It's Painful to Slow Down

2009-03-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

I have made the painful decision to cut back posting on my blog.

I will not follow 365 anymore.

This has been one of the hardest decisions I have made in a long time.

You might think, it's a silly little blog why should it be so hard? It's hard because of the personal reasons I started blogging. My goals I set for myself.
It's very hard to step back. I'm not one who's good at stepping back, I'm not one to quit ANYTHING, I'm not one to give up.

I have so much going on in my personal life right now and it's only going to get turned up a notch over the next few months so I need to free up time where ever I can.
I will not have set schedule I will follow for posting, I will post whenever I have something to post or have the time to post. I would like to try to still post at least 4 times a week. We will see what time allows.

I would love to thank all of my readers, for stopping by and reading, and those of you who have left comments for me. You my readers, have helped me grow more than you will ever know. I appreciate you all for taking the time to stop by and read my blog.
I hope you will continue to do so in the future.

Thank you!

A day in the life

2009-03-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

So much going on so little time.
Some randomness from me to you.

I'm tired of hurrying up just to get to my next point to sit and wait.

Seems as if I am addicted to a new (for me) site Blip.fm. I just can't seem to open that page and walk away. For years I have had dance parties in my head, now I can actually put them out there for everyone to enjoy.OMG.help.me.please.

It appears as if my doctor was a little over zealous when he stated to me last week, over 8 days ago, that the prilosec he recommended for me to go on, would probably work right away and I would feel better within the FIRST 24 HOURS. Ahem. Didn't happen. I suffered through Tuesday barely eating a thing because of my throat. Wednesday morning came around and I could barely get the damn pill down my throat. Do I sound bitchy? Do I sound whiny? It's because I am. A call to him is on the to do list for today.

Is there any excitement that rivals making plans? When you know you are going to do something you love, even if you have never experienced what you are planning yet, doesn't it just make you so happy? I think it's all about the expectations and the unknown. I just love that feeling.

Do you think that music has the power to take you away? Can it put you in a different mood when you hear a certain song? For me hell yes. Music works wonders on my mind. I am still a big fan of cranking the car stereo up and singing my heart out to great song. I don't care how old I am.

From 5-7pm I am a slave to my sirius satellite radio. Channel 112 Martha Stewart radio. Whatever with Jennifer and Alexis. BEST program on sirius. No subject off limits. That show is so damn funny. The reason it works I think is because they are best friends and they just talk about (obviously) whatever. You can easily insert yourself and your best friend into their conversations and I can always see myself saying the exact same things they say. I'm pretty sure I didn't articulate that correctly so let me just say I love that damn show!

Two nights ago my husband and I took my daughter to the first Confirmation meeting at our church. My daughter's age group at our church has always had the largest amount of kids in it. She does not have to participate in the CCD Prep classes because she goes to the Catholic School so we don't see a lot of the kids her age that often other than occasionally at Mass. We arrived just on time and sat down in the back of the crowd. As I looked around from left to right I couldn't believe my eyes. Who were all these children? When did they all change? When did they all grow up? I am NOT JOKING when I say that it just seems like yesterday they were practicing for their first communion. I sat there and instead of taking in all the head of the Religious Education program and the Priest was saying, I was thinking of time passing by. Where did it all go? How did it go by so fast? Why didn't I see it going by? Did I take advantage of it all? I'm sure I did not.REGRETS.I.HATE.REGRETS.

Parent conferences are done for the school year. This is awesome because it means that it's all downhill from here. Basically 2 more months of school left. That ='s HAPPINESS. I try to have a really fun time everyday in school, but the last two months are off the hook. We do what I think is the funnest stuff of the year. We get outside a lot more because the weather breaks, we go to the community to learn about places like (my personal favorite) the Library, the Grocery Store and the Post Office. The best part is we can walk to all those places and after we visit each place we stop by the park on the way back and have our snack and play. Circus, beach, and bike days are all in there too. Good times....good times.

Am I the only one in America who isn't into American Idol? I have watched it several times this year and I just can't get into it. I don't connect with any of the singers, I don't think any of them are overly impressive. Is it just me?

Last night after dropping my tween off at swimming I was putting my purse in the trunk of my car and someone drove up and stopped to ask me directions. She had a very strong English accent. I talked to her for all of two minutes I think. By the time we were ending the conversation I think I used the word "bloody" and was talking like the Queen of England. She drove away and I thought to myself, what the hell just happened?

Just a day in the life.

WW ~ # 17

2009-03-25T00:01:00.000-04:00

Annie Oakley would be proud!

2009-03-24T00:00:00.001-04:00

Tom Petty said it best when he said "Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around....gonna stand my ground and I won't back down."

On Monday I did just that. I can literally count on my ONE hand how many times I have stood my ground with my tween. Sad I know. Yesterday the tide turned, the axis shifted, and the weight of guilt on my part was lifted.

I have listened to everyone who gave their advice. Everyone said don't back down, stick to your guns, do not waiver, don't change your mind. Don't second guess myself.

Last week after I did the laundry I told my tween, "You have received a gift. I have done your laundry probably 2 years longer than I should have. You received a bonus this weekend I did your laundry again and it was for the last time. Starting the next laundry cycle, you will do your own laundry." Her jaw dropped..."but...but..." I walked away.

The week passed by I did NOT do her laundry. Her hamper was overflowing I gave her gentle reminders about the laundry, they fell on deaf ears. She did not heed the warning. Friday night came and I reminded her again. She said "I'll do it over the weekend." I reminded her that we were going away until Sunday afternoon and that her time would be limited. "I know...I know....I'll get it done."

Monday morning after getting dressed and discovering that she was running out of clean uniforms I was hit by what seemed to be an 18 wheeler out of control. "Mom, please I'm begging you...can't you please do my laundry ONE more time? I have no time, I have school then homework then off to swimming for the night. Please Mom....please...." All laced with a nice accompaniment of tears.

I was feeling the heat. I was feeling really guilty. It's that time constraint again. I felt really guilty. I went online before I picked her up from school, talked to some friends, got the advice and courage I needed and I stood my ground. As soon as she hit the car the first thing she said was "I just don't have time to do laundry today Mom."

I quietly stood my ground. I told her I would get her set up with everything she needed to know, I would show her exactly what to do and that she could get it started and finish it up by emptying the dryer and folding her clothes tonight when she got home from swimming. I stood my ground. She said "Okay."

I did exactly what I told her I would do, I showed her what had to be done and how it was to be done and she followed. The only complaint that I got was that "the basket is too heavy to carry down the steps" I told her split the load do 1/2 at a time if it was too heavy. Pretty good huh?

I realize it's a small victory but it's huge to me. I have learned more from this than I'm sure she will ever learn from it.

To me it was a win win situation. She learns more responsibility and I learned more about myself. I am truly a work in progress. I am still learning not to second guess myself.

I have learned to stick to my guns.

I got nothing

2009-03-23T00:00:00.001-04:00

I am fresh out of something anything to bring to my blog so I bring you a regular old meme. Thank you to randomness for the meme I am using today.

Shall we begin, yes lets.

I wish I could: give more of myself.

My biggest fear is: failing.

I hate to: fall short of people's expectations.

I love: rainy days when I don't have to go anywhere and can just lay in bed and listen to the rain.

Today I will: be the best that I can be.

Yesterday I: ate way too much.

My hair is: curly and red w/ blond streaks through it.

I will never: smoke a cigarette.

Happy Valley

2009-03-22T00:13:00.005-04:00

We spent Saturday at Penn State University.
We usually just go up a few times during football season.

Friday and Saturday they held the PIAA State High School Basketball Finals here.
We got a call from our friends, bagged some tickets, made the hotel reservation and we were on our way.

There is NOTHING in the world like Beaver Stadium.
Although it was weird to see it NOT filled with 110,000 loyal fans.

However, inside Bryce Jordan Center there were plenty of screaming, loyal fans.

There to cheer on their favorite hometown team who had made it to the finals.

And become crowned State Champions.

We had a great time with good friends we have not seen in a long time.
Spent the evening over good food, and partied like we were college kids.
Yes, Dorothy there is no place like Happy Valley even when it isn't football season.

Parenting 101

2009-03-21T00:00:00.001-04:00

Photo/Comic courtesy of Savage Chickens

One of my best friends Cajunvegan sent me a few of these Savage Chickens cartoons a few weeks ago. I have taken her suggestion and brought them to my blog.

Anyone who knows even a little bit about me knows I have a great many struggles with being a parent. I am constantly second guessing myself. I know that I really have no back bone what so ever when I really should have one. I admittedly to a fault, can be talked out or in to almost anything by my tween.

The above cartoon, fits me to a perfect T. I start out with all intentions of being the authoritarian and end up being permissive. For the record I have never considered myself as an uninvolved parent.

Photo/Comic courtesy of Savage Chickens

While I might have outgrown or rather my tween has outgrown the classic "why" questions I still get the "well so and so is going or so and so is buying one, or so and so's Mom is letting her do it. " To which I then turn into my mother and say "Well I'm not so and so's mother so I don't care what she is doing or not doing." I must admit I can handle most of those situations.

My biggest fault or what I see as my biggest fault as a parent is I don't really stick to what I say. I don't have a real backbone. I have all intentions of sticking to what I say but then I let the guilt creeping in. I feel bad because my tween has a very tough schedule, between school, working out with trainers, and swimming she is really busy and doesn't get a lot of down time. There in lies my problem. When I take something away I feel so bad that she only has a limited time to enjoy those things so it stings even more. Then I usually give in and give her back whatever I had previously taken away. NO BACKBONE. I know it's a problem. It's not that I don't EVER stick to my guns I have managed to get a lot better. There are times when I still do give in.

Secondly, I know when I was growing up and living at home every Saturday I had chores to do. I had to keep my room cleaned, make my bed every morning, clean the bathroom and help in the kitchen and do my laundry.

I have yet to give those chores to her. She is responsible for the recycling in the home but that is it. Taking the cans and bottles to the recycle bin and the newspapers out. Again it's the time problem. I always feel bad that she only has limited down time.

So there I have said it. My biggest problems with my parenting. I often feel that I do not have the skills I need to be a good parent. I am constantly second guessing what I say and do. I guess it's that I'm just so afraid of making a mistake that I won't be able to correct. I'm not sure. I'm wondering if it's just me. When I talk to a lot of my friends they all seem so confident in their choices. How do you get that confidence? I have no clue.

I have always thought, if I look back on my life and have regrets about what I chose for myself I think I can live with that, however, if I look back on my life and have regrets about the decisions I have made for my child, I would never be able to live with myself.

So I ask you my reader, drop your suggestions for me in the comments below. Your suggestions will not fall on blind eyes, that I can assure you.

Four Things

2009-03-20T00:00:00.001-04:00

Four names that people call you:

1. Hey Mrs.

2. Mom

3. Ma'am

4. Mother (when my child is mad at me)

Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Produce manager

2. Basketball coach

3. Chairperson for an Art Auction

4. Teacher

Four movies I've watched more than once:

1. The 10 Commandments

2. The Wizard of Oz

3. Gone with the Wind

4. Dead Poets Society

Four places I have lived:

1. Baltimore Md.

2. Manassas Va.

3. Wilmington De.

4. Silver Spring Md.

Four places I have traveled:

1. Orlando Fl.

2. London England

3. Paris France

4. Newport RI

Four People who e-mail me:

1. My husband

2. Many of my friends on a daily basis

3. The New York Times

4. CNN

Four of my favorite Foods:

1. shrimp

2. shrimp

3. chocolate

4. chocolate

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1. any tropical beach

2. NYC

3. Paris

4. Las Vegas

Four things I’m looking forward to this year:

1. NYC

2. Ocean City Md

3. Taking photos in Philly with a special friend

4. Summer V A C A T I O N

Four TV shows that I watch:

1. Always Sunny in Philadelphia

2. 30 Rock

3. Housewives of NYC.don't judge me.

4. Seinfeld reruns anytime I can catch one.

RETURN DIRECTIONS:

Please note, this originally came from facebook so I am switching up the rules a bit to fit a blog.

Copy and paste this in to your BLOG, delete my answers and type in your own answers. Link up the blog you stole it from.

Show Me the LOVIN'

2009-03-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

I saw this the other night on CajunVegan's blog and just had to steal it for my own. Thank you CajunVegan, and btw, if you haven't been to her blog, you need to go there NOW trust me on this you will NOT be disappointed.

Dear Topsurf:

You make me ________. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You = ________. If I saw you now I’d __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could drink __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________.

Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)

Show me some loving today I'm gonna need it. Send answers to my comments.

WW ~ #16

2009-03-18T00:00:00.001-04:00

I snapped this shot on the way home from work yesterday.

Green green everything is green!

2009-03-17T00:00:00.001-04:00

Happy St. Patricks Day

While we were away last weekend for the tweens swim meet my friends were having their annual St. Patricks Day night out at our favorite Irish Pub. I was seriously bummed first time in over 10 years that I wasn't out with my friends for the night long celebration. We always do the Irish Sing Along. Of course we eat Irish food, and the drinks, we do the drinks big time. It is always one of the funnest nights of the year. From all the stories I heard, they had a blast again this year. Hopefully next year we won't have a swimming commitment on the same weekend.

When I was growing up my Mom made green food all the time on St. Patricks Day. Green eggs in the morning. Green jello in the lunch box, green applesauce too, anything that she could put dye in we had green. And of course for dinner green mashed potatoes. She even made green cake for dessert which I would top off with Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. My mom knew how to make holiday's fun for us.

Do you do anything special for St. Patricks Day? Today in my classroom every child will find a pot with one gold dollar coin in it. They might even catch a glimpse of a Leprechaun if they keep their eyes open. Happy St. Patricks Day!

It's over

2009-03-16T05:08:00.003-04:00

It's over. Thank you for all your well wishes. Thank you for all the support we have received over the past week. I can't begin to thank you all enough. It did not go without notice. Hands down I have the most awesome friends anyone could ever have. Thank you.

Do you get back up?

2009-03-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

What do you do when you lose confidence? Do you get back up on the horse and get back at it? Easier said than done right? How do you help someone restore their confidence again? What are the right words? Does it depend on the person? Of course it depends on the situation. But how do you find the key? What do you do when you know the person has it in them but just can't seem to find the tools to let it out? Is it a maturity issue? Does it come with age? Or do some people never find their confidence again once they have lost it? In short......HELP!

TopSurf needs to walk the line!

2009-03-14T00:00:00.001-04:00

Hi, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Miss Attitude. I want to start off saying how flattered I am Topsurf asked me to be a guest blogger. At first I worried about the pressure of coming up with something witty. It’s hard enough to write my own posts some day. But how could I turn her down?

I don’t know what I’d do without Topsurf some days. She makes me laugh at 4 a.m. when most people are still sound asleep. She worries about me when she has plenty on her own plate. And she knows how to use emoticons on Plurk like nobody’s business. But as much as I hate to admit it there is one area where she has some catching up to do.

Now this isn’t anything I haven’t told her already. In fact, instead of teasing her I’m going to give her a gift to help her on her way. About a month ago she admitted she hadn’t seen Love Actually. I couldn’t believe it. Who hasn’t seen Love Actually? And when I asked her that, she announced a laundry list of other movies she’d never seen— movies that I’ve seen dozens if not hundreds of times. Movies I could actually recite by heart.

After she took my advice and watched Love Actually and Reality Bites, and enjoyed them both I’ve had some time to think about this. So my gift is a list of must sees written just for Topsurf. After all, it’s her blog and it’s all about her! Now some of you may judge me for my selections, but Topsurf herself will tell you a true friend would never judge. After spending the past 13 years working in TV news, I’ve seen enough depressing on a daily basis. So I mostly enjoy chick flicks and comedies.

Without further ado here’s Topsurf’s Top 25 Must Watch Flicks in no particular order:

1. The Runaway Bride (It’s almost a Pretty Woman remake, but with a better soundtrack!)

2. The Princess Bride

3. Sweet Home Alabama (Who can resist Reese Witherspoon’s charm while being a tad bit jealous of her tough luck at having to choose between Patrick Dempsey and Josh Lucas?)

4. Walk the Line (Speaking of Reese, she and Joaquin Phoenix are phenomenal in Johnny Cash’s story. It’s hands down one of the best soundtracks and still unbelievable to me

5. Legally Blonde

6. Legally Blonde 2

7. Bridget Jones’s Diary (Not as good as the book in my opinion, but it always makes me laugh!)

8. Bridget Jones The Edge of Reason (Who can resist another fight scene between English hotties Colin Firth and Hugh Grant?)

9. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (Not much substance but Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are perfect eye candy!)

10. About a Boy

11. Notting Hill

12. My Best Friend’s Wedding (More pretty people with a fun sing-along type music)

13. Wedding Crashers

14. Sex and the City (I know repeatedly said it’s not as good as the TV series, but how can you have not seen this yet??????????????)

15. Girls Just Want to Have Fun (SJP pre-SATC.. enough said!)

16. American Pie

17. I Am Sam (Sean Penn is phenomenal in this. Michelle Pfeiffer is well Michelle Pfeiffer, and there’s a Beatles soundtrack.)

18. Grease 2 (Speaking of Michelle Pfeiffer, who didn’t want to be like her in this movie? And for those of you who say you can’t top the original, please! Give me a “Cool Rider” any day.)

19. High Fidelity

20. Serendipity

21. The Wedding Singer

22. The Grinch (I still think nothing can top the original, but Jim Carey is hysterical!)

23. Singles

24. 8 Mile

25. Shawshank Redemption (One of the best movies of all time. I’ll watch it whenever it comes on TV no matter where it is in the movie.)

So quick TopSurf, log onto NetFlix and get on it! And feel free to let me know which of your favorites I’ve left off the list.

Stylishly yours,

Miss Attitude

Kat I am

2009-03-13T00:00:00.001-04:00

Today, as you my faithful reader know, I am away at my tweens Swim Meet. I am so very grateful to have a guest here doing a post for me while I am away. She is one of my very closest of friends who I just adore. Allow me to introduce you to Kat. She has a fabulous blog of her own and if you have not been there yet you should go right now, you'll be very happy you did.

My little Cat in the Hat when she was 3 years old.

Topsurf Can’t Blog, Can You?

I am Kat,

Kat I am...

And, I can blog while Topsurf is gone, said Kat I am!

I can blog while knitting socks,

I can blog while changing locks….

Yes, I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog, said Kat I am!

I can blog while chopping logs, and I can blog while feeding dogs…

I can blog while changing locks, and I can blog while knitting socks,

Yes, I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog said Kat I am.

I can blog with NPR, and I can blog while in the car,

While chopping logs, while feeding dogs, while changing locks, and while knitting socks,

Yes I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog said Kat I am.

I can blog when in the sun; I can blog when having fun,

I can blog with NPR, and in the car, while chopping logs, while feeding dogs,

While changing locks, and while knitting socks,

Yes, I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog said Kat I am.

Would you, could you on the roof…. Would you, could you on the hoof?

I can blog when in the sun, and I can blog when having fun!

I can blog with NPR, and in the car, while chopping logs, and feeding dogs,

While changing locks, and while knitting socks,

Yes, I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog said Kat I am.

I can blog when in the rain, and I can blog when in a plane,

Up on the roof, or on the hoof,

In the sun, having fun,

With NPR, and in the car,

While chopping logs, and feeding dogs,

While changing locks, and knitting socks.

Yes, I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog said Kat I am.

I can blog while drinking beer and I can blog and never leer!

I can blog when in the rain, and I can blog when in a plane,

I can blog up on the roof, or on the hoof,

In the sun, and having fun,

With NPR, and in the car,

While chopping logs, and feeding dogs,

While changing locks, and knitting socks!

Yes, I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog, said Kat I am!

I can blog while sending Tweets, and I can blog while on my feet!

I can blog while drinking beer and I can blog without a leer,

I can blog when in the rain, and I can blog when in a plane,

I can blog upon the roof, and I can blog while on the hoof,

In the sun, or having fun,

I can blog with NPR, and I can blog while in the car,

I can blog while chopping logs, and I can blog when feeding dogs,

I can blog while changing locks, and I can blog while knitting socks!

I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog, said Kat I am!

Can you, can you when you Plurk? Can you, can you in a church?

Can you blog while sending Tweets, and can you blog while on your feet?

I can blog while drinking beer and I can blog without a leer!

I can blog when in the rain, or in a plane,

I can blog up on the roof, and while on the hoof,

I can blog when in the sun, and I can blog when having fun,

I can blog with NPR, and I can blog when in the car,

I can blog while chopping logs, and I can blog when feeding dogs,

I can blog when changing locks, and I can blog while knitting socks!

I can blog while Topsurf is gone, I can blog, said Kat I am!

Yes, I can blog when I Plurk,

I can blog when in a church,

While sending Tweets, and on my feet,

When drinking beer, without a leer!

I can blog when in the rain,

Or on a plane,

Upon the roof, or on the hoof,

When in the sun, and having fun,

I can blog with NPR,

Or in the car,

While chopping logs,

Or feeding dogs,

While changing locks,

AND while knitting socks,

I can blog while Topsurf is gone,

I can blog, said Kat I am!

Can you?

Thursday Thunks # 7

2009-03-12T00:00:00.001-04:00

Today's Thursday's Thunks questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color puke green and the number 12345. And away we go.....

You are walking down the road and you look down. There is a bug. Do you step on it?
ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT.

What is one fantasy that you want to come true more than any other?
My tween to swim in the Olympics someday.

Someone knocks on your door. Do you look out the window to see who it is before you open it? Do you open it regardless of who it is?
Here's the rule in my house, you better call to let me know you are coming because I don't open my door when the doorbell rings unless I am expecting company. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Have you ever eaten playdoh?
Not sure but if I'd have to guess I'd say yes probably.

What is your favorite Saturday morning cartoon as a child and why?
UNDERDOG. It just brings up memories of sitting with my brother and sisters on Saturday morning and hanging out watching cartoons. Good times.....Good times.

Are you a "people watcher"?
Like you wouldn't believe.

I have a bowl of fruit. There are apples, oranges & pears. You help yourself to one-which one do you choose?
The orange. No contest.

What is your biggest pet peeve in the blogging world?
hhmmmmmm.....I don't really have one. Should I?

What is one religion that you could just never see yourself joining.
I was brought up strict Catholic. There is no other religion I could join my Mom would kill me.

What word do you use far too often?
Oh there are many: seriously, absolutely, OMG, hilarious, shall I keep going?

How long do you stay in the shower?
I'm quick usually 5 minutes or less unless I have worked out really hard then it's a bit longer.

If you were to write a personal ad about yourself, what would you say?
Friendly, good conversationalist, great sense of humor, loves to laugh and talk over a good meal and drinks. Yeah, I'm not much on writing personal ads can you tell?

Your favorite soup is....?
My mom's homemade tomato soup or her Italian Wedding soup.

You are sitting on a bench in the park and a bug walks in front of your feet.....do
you squash him?
ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT.

Perfect "T" Not quite WW

2009-03-11T00:00:00.003-04:00

If any lyrics have fit me to a perfect T it's this song at this time in my life.

Partial Lyrics ~ Hand in my pocket

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry

what it all comes down to
is that everything is going to be quite alright

What is all comes down to
is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty

What it boils down to
is that no one's really got it figured out just yet

What it all comes down to
is that everything's just fine, fine, fine.

Time Sucks

2009-03-10T00:00:00.002-04:00

Been
Exhausted
Exhasperated
Never ending

Time
Has
Incredibly
Not been
Kind
In
No way
Going

Along the

Least bit quickly
Oh how I hate watching the
Time

I've been busy

2009-03-09T00:00:00.002-04:00

Here are some photos that I have taken over the past few weeks I thought you'd enjoy seeing them.

Two birds. I took this in Philly on Market St. I loved them they were so cute the one on right kept moving over to the one on the left trying to kiss her.

I took this one afternoon on a windy day. I loved it because the leaf was standing up in the wind.

This is on the way to work every morning. I love how the town is backed up to a mountain.

The last snowfall we had up here. This is part of the swing set in our back yard.

I took this at the little creek by the park in our town.

I took this at the local park. Swings. Waiting for someone to hop on them.

Oh Hell Yes!

2009-03-08T00:00:00.001-05:00

Saturday highs near 70 degrees.
Hell yeah!
I spent some real quality time outdoors.
I wore shorts and flip flops today!

With much nervousness and excitement

2009-03-07T00:00:00.002-05:00

Now that I have let out my rant yesterday on my throat I believe it is time to move on. Time to move on to bigger and better things. There is a ton of nervousness going on in my household this week. We are coming up on one of the biggest weekends personally for my family.

The tween will embark next Thursday night on her journey to achieve her higher goals in the sport of swimming. We will venture back to New Jersey for the Junior Olympics Swim Meet. It is a 4 day affair. She will be swimming on 3 days of the event.

Needless to say she is very excited and very very nervous. She has many goals set. Her coaches have many goals set. She has spent a great deal of her personal time for this sport. She has over the past two months not only worked out with one personal trainer but has taken on another in the hope of strengthening her core, which in turn will better her times. Plus has spent at least 5 nights a week sometimes 6 for 2-2/12 hours in the water non stop. She loves it. She has such a deep appreciation and love for the sport.

Dedication.

Determination.

Pride.

Motivation.

Driven.

Resolve.

She has it all and has shown it all over the past few years. With every new year comes new challenges and new goals. This year is one of the biggest because she is at the top of her age group in this short course season. Being at the top of your age group means you are hopefully, stronger, faster, smarter, and more prepared than your younger counterparts.

Yes, we are nervous, excited, and exhausted all rolled into one. It is beyond our belief that when she entered the pool one summer "just to have some fun on the swim team" that it would have blossomed into this. No matter what the outcome next weekend, we are proud. She has achieved much more than ribbons and medals could ever show. It's all right up there. Dedication, determination, pride, motivation, driven, resolve.

When I was pregnant I played this song along with two others every day through headphones on my stomach. I wanted the lyrics so badly to come true. It is my belief that so far they have.

"know this child will be gifted
with love, with patience and with faith
she'll make her way"

....but if you try sometimes you get what you need....

2009-03-06T00:00:00.002-05:00

You always want things to go the way you have them planned in your head. However they don't.

I know this.

It doesn't make the reality any easier when things don't go the way you want.
I had a conversation with the specialist office that will be doing what I THOUGHT was a throat scope next Wednesday. Do you notice anything in that last sentence that looks out of place? Hmmmmmm.....maybe the word THOUGHT.

FIRST mistake.

I assumed.

I should know by now you should NEVER assume anything.
When I was at my family doctor OVER a MONTH ago I am positive he said "I am sending you for a scope because upon my exam there is nothing that I can do and he needs to see in your throat to see what is going on." Did you see the word scope back there <-----------? Yep, I did too.

I have held on to that scope thought for dear life over the last month. I am not looking forward to a scope but I'm looking forward to the results.

I had to call the office on Monday to get some information and I decided to ask about the scope and what I need to do to prepare before hand. That is when I was told "Oh you are not getting a scope the doctor needs to have a consult with you first to see exactly what is going on."

WTF?

HELLO.

WTF?

So now after waiting a month to get in they are going to TALK to me and then have to schedule another appointment for the scope? What does he need to talk to me about? Talk to my doctor who examined me. Why waste more time? He will talk to me for what will end up being all of 5 minutes then back out to the receptionist to schedule ANOTHER appointment for the scope.

WTF?

WTF?

I am tired.
Tired of wondering.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of worrying.
Tired of reading everything I can get my hands on about the throat.
I just want it over and taken care of.

So now I will go next Wednesday and get absolutely nothing accomplished except the wasting of my time.

I have been processing this in my head for 4 days now. Trying to find something positive from it.

I am coming up empty.

I cannot see anything positive. Well maybe one thing. I will take a book with me and get some quality reading done while waiting in his office. How's that for positive? If there is one lesson I have learned it is that I guess you can't always get what you want.